In A Sports Shocker Vanessa Bryant Files For Divorce From Kobe Bryant Causing The Cancellation of Their Reality Show After Only One Episode

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Saturday, 17 December 2011

image for In A Sports Shocker Vanessa Bryant Files For Divorce From Kobe Bryant Causing The Cancellation of Their Reality Show After Only One Episode
Kobe Bryant makes $305,000 per game. (Photo courtesy of Vanessa Bryant).

LOS ANGELES - Things were really looking good for Kobe Bryant. The NBA lockout had ended and Kobe's team the Los Angeles Lakers were preparing for their first game against the Chicago Bulls on Christmas day.

Kobe, who is the NBA's highest paid player making $25 million a year, was really looking forward to the start of the season. He had recently told Tango Brisket with Sports Territory Magazine that he truly felt that this was the year that the Lakers would once again become the world champions.

He had even mentioned that he and his wife Vanessa were very excited about their brand-new Epitome Network reality show Kobe & Vanessa Doing L.A.

In fact Kobe had just spoken with Lamar Odom his former Lakers teammate, who is now with the Dallas Mavericks, and he told him that he would be willing to make a Mitt Romney $10,000 bet that his new show Kobe & Vanessa Doing L.A. would receive a higher rating than his show Lamar & Khloe.

Lamar simply laughed. And it's a good thing for Kobe that he did not take Bryant up on the bet.

Sports Territory Magazine has just verified that the rumor that Vanessa Bryant had filed for divorce from her husband Kobe is in fact true.

According to an unnamed, highly reliable, inside source Mrs. Bryant filed the divorce on grounds of irreconcilable ipso philandering.

The source, who is a close friend of Mrs. Bryant, stated that Vanessa has recently come across some telltale signs which have led her to believe that like Stephen Stills sang in his song "For What It's Worth" there's something happening here what it is ain't exactly clear.

Vanessa is devastated and heartbroken due to the fact that she was really excited about her brand-new reality show Kobe & Vanessa Doing L.A.

The producer of the show Chipley "The Chipster" Flusterfelt stated that he was positively shocked at the news of the divorce and quickly moved to cancel the purchase deal on the fully loaded Rolls Royce he was close to purchasing.

He went on to say that the Bryant's had just completed the first episode and were looking forward to starting on the second one in a few days which was going to focus on Vanessa's brand new 2012 Lamborghini Murcielago.

Flusterfelt said that he had no idea that their marriage was on the rocks. He did state that he noticed Vanessa had become somewhat upset when during the course of the premier show Kobe had mentioned to her that he wanted for them to spend a weekend in Colorado.

Flusterfelt remarked that Vanessa looked at her husband and in a loud voice asked "Are you friggin crazy or what? Did you already forget what happened the last time you were in Colorado?"

She then waived her ring finger at him and told him that his last visit and subsequent mattress merriment had cost him $4 million; the cost of the ring.

And so now Kobe Bryant will play that marital game that so many celebrities and sports figures seem to eventually play. Kobe Bryant may be one of the best NBA players playing the game today. But it appears that another type of playing may have been the cause of the downfall of his marriage.

Kobe is a very smart basketball player. But he is not a smart husband. And so as sharp as he thinks he is he failed to sign a prenup agreement.

And so now it will all come down to simple math. And just like another sports figure did a few years ago; Kobe Bryant like Tiger Woods will sit down, figure out how much money he has, and divide the figure by two.

[EDITOR'S NOTE: I called up my good old friend Larry King and I asked him how much Kobe Bryant was worth. Larry without missing a beat replied $360 million.]

And so once all of the sadness turns to heartache and then to anger and the anger turns to utter disgust, the fact of the matter is that the ex-Mrs. Kobe Bryant will walk away looking like a million dollars - or to put it much more accurately looking like 180 million dollars!

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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