Letter To TheSpoof.com Magazine
Dere Magizeen Editer, Big Larry, a guy who think he so smart tell me you wooden put my letter in your magizeen paper. Big Larry always using them big words like this passed Tuesday and make me feel stupid. "You are a traw-glow-dite," Big Larry say, and then he smile like he so much better than me or my grown boy, Nimrod, like when he win at checkers. Or him and Doomer Felps "Ha ha ha ing"...
Read full storyWenger Calls it a Day
After the worst spell in Arsenals history, Arsene Wenger has finally called it a day. In a statement today Wenger said, 'The last 23hrs and 59 minutes have been very difficult - in fact I'll call it a day - the last day has been very difficult.
Read full storyStrictly Come Dancing John Sergeant Proposes To Kristina Rihanoff
The ousted BBC Strictly Come Dancing contestant, John Sergeant, made his farewell appearance on the show tonight, and in a shock development, stunned viewers when he issued his dance partner, Kristina Rihanoff with a Proposal of Marriage. Sergeant...
Read full storyBig Chevy Auto Recall
Gainesville, Florida citizen "Big Chevy" Chase Henderson told friends that he had always been a Chevy man, while sitting in New Bob's Cafe drinking coffee, Saturday. "Back in 1955 I bought me a brand spanking new blue and white Chevrolet Bel Air.
Read full storyAspartame Proved Safe For Infants
CALCUTTA - Local officials announced that not only was aspartame safe for infants, but that all nursing would be made illegal so that formula containing 1% aspartame by weight, after mixing with water, would be the only food legal to feed infants und...
Read full storyTheSpoof.com Rescued With $150 Trillion Bailout
Washington DC-- Congress today approved a controversial $150 trillion bailout for the ailing TheSpoof.com website. The money will be printed and sent by plane directly to London tonight. The extra cash is expected to keep the site running "for at l...
Read full storyNew BNP List 'On the Buses' Shocker!
Journalists at the Daily Scum have revealed, that Inspector Blakey, from "On the Buses" is BNP member 18. Not only does he resemble Adolf Hitler with his teutonic good looks and little toothbrush 'tashe'. But the number 18 is as sacred to Nazi's,...
Read full storyAspartame Warhead Ready Says Pentagon
PENTAGON - Shadowy spockesmen for Top Generals from a classified part of a classified organization with a classified mission told TheSpoof very little today. What they tell us very revealing. A new chemical weopon warhead had been developed, that...
Read full storyObama: 'I'll Be Sending Bush To Guantanamo'
President-to-be Barack Obama today said: 'The first thing I'll be doing as President will be sending George W Bush to Guantanamo Bay, for crimes against the English language. For eight years this country has suffered from a serious lack of sensible g...
Read full storyPresident-Elect Barack Obama Selects Treasury Secretary
Chicago, IL- The rumors are not true. Timothy Geithner, who is the head of Federal Reserve Bank of New York, is not Barack Obama's pick for Treasury Secretary. Reports had indicated that Geithner was President-elect Barack Obama's first choice to hea...
Read full storyHillary Clinton treated for hairballs after two weeks of Obama talks
Washington AC/DC - (Hairy Ass Mess): Senator Hillary Clinton was rushed to the emergency room today and treated for a Lewinsky Syndrome Variant hairballs following protracted arselicking discussions for the Secretary of State's position in the Obama...
Read full storySomali subsidiary of Lehman Brothers offers $25 billion bail out US car industry
Mogadishu - (Ass Mess): In a surprise development the cash-rich Somali subsidiary of fallen off-the-Wall-Street giant Lehman Brothers has offered the ailing US motor industry an immediate $25 billion cash injection. The Mogadishu-based institution...
Read full storyMichael Jackson lawsuit to be settled by Sharia court
London - (ReUterus & Ass mess): A Bahraini princelet's £5 million lawsuit against Michael Jackson is to be moved from the Royal Courts of Justice to a Sharia court in rural Warwickshire. Jackson confirmed the news as his plane touched down in...
Read full storyUK Islamic Militant Snuffed in Pakistan
A fugitive British militant linked to an alleged UK plot to use liquid explosives for blowing up transatlantic airliners has been killed in Pakistan, according to an International Herald Shitraker report. Pakistani authorities believe Rashid Rauf,...
Read full storyMichael Jackson gets plastic surgery to look more like young boy
Weirdo pop superstar Michael Jackson has had his most drastic cosmetic surgery yet in an attempt to transform himself into a young boy - possible Home Alone-era Macaulay Culkin. The troubled singer says he wants to look younger - much, muc...
Read full storyBrown Does Good
We all thought that he'd never do anything good, but he has all proved us wrong. In the same day not only as Gordon Brown stopped world poverty, made us all rich saved animals from extinction, cured every illness known to man and stopped all wars but...
Read full storyMichael Mukasey: "I collapsed from all the B.S, "Bush Sh*t."
(Washington, D.C.) Things seemed to go from Green Zone to Highway One for current Attorney General Michael Mukasey at a Federalist Society dinner held at the Marriott Wardman Park Hotel Thursday. Mukasey was giving a spirited defense of the Bush...
Read full storyMichael Jackson, Miley Cyrus, Paris Hilton and Madonna Convert to Islam
MECCA (FMLiveWire) - In a moving ceremony here on Friday, Michael Jackson, Miley Cyrus, Paris Hilton and Madonna converted to Islam, All wore the abaya, the traditional Arab women's veil, making it difficult to tell them apart. Jackson, 50, had be...
Read full storyRioting Bankers Mug Santa
A riot broke out yesterday when a gang of well dressed marauding ex bank executives mugged Father Christmas outside Selfridges. There were reports of serious injury especially to HBOS execs who, in turn, were mugged by Lloyds execs who claimed entitl...
Read full storyThe Next Senator from New York is...
New York Governor David A. Paterson is said to be looking for a native New Yorker to assume Hillary Rodham Clinton's Senate seat should she be offered and accepts the Secretary of State position in the Obama Cabinet. "I am sick and tired of char...
Read full storyArsene Wenger And William Gallas To Make Up With A French Kiss
Nobody likes an unhappy ending, and down at the Emirates Stadium, they're no different. No surprise then, that Arsene Wenger and his hot-headed and loose-lipped ex-captain, William Gallas, have decided to kiss and make up - French style! The Fren...
Read full storyDisappointment As Hitler Still Remains In 3rd Place In History's List Of The Greatest Mass Murderers.
Despite many war films and documentaries about the death camps, many left wing organisations are disappointed today as Hitler still lies in 3rd place as history's greatest tyrant. Unfortunately for them, two hard-core left wing socialists called Stal...
Read full storySergeant - Major Crisis for BBC
John Seargeant has left the BBC show 'Strictly Cum Dancing' despite being the 'people's champion' and kept in the show by the votes of the proletariat. Broken Promises Following a visit from the Mitchell brothers, who pointed out to John the di...
Read full storySunshowers Throughout The World - And What They Mean
GLASGOW, Scotland - A sunshower is an unusual meteorological phenomenon in which rain falls while the sun is shining. This condition usually leads to the formation of a rainbow. This phenomenon has a wide range of remarkable folkloric sayings throughout the world's different cultures. Some of the more common ones are: In the United States a sunshower means that the devil is beating his wife. In...
Read full storyUseful phrases to use at work
I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid. I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant. I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth. It might look like I'm doing nothing, but at the cellular level I'm really quite busy. Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view. The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're...
Read full storyCan dehydration induce aggression?
From the dawn of history to present time, man has relentlessly pursued his desire for sexual satisfaction. We are tempted to believe that his constant engagement in sex may have molded his personality. Gradually, man's outlook on sex has undergone some changes. For instance, once Britain banned publication of 'Lady Chatterley's Lover" by DH Lawrence' in 1920's. However, glossy magazines have c...
Read full storyThe Gynecologist From Hell!
POMPANO BEACH, Florida - Dr. Gizmo Pellagetti, 52, a gynecologist from Pompano Beach has been arrested by the Pompano Beach Police Department and charged with dozens of unethical medical infractions and illegal gynecological practices. One of the...
Read full storyScientists say Aspartame? No Worries.
Austin Ate - Scientists say today that aspartame is the most studied drug added to food, and to STOP WORRYING about it. Scientists also say that if you do eat enough of it you will top worrying about it.. and everything else thanks to the methalol h...
Read full storyAspartame Proven Lethal to Hungry Scientists
LONDON, England - UPDATE 2 - Scientists yesterday published a new study proving that aspartame is safe for rats. This study, which took 15 years of work by a team of 115 scientists in 20 countrys proves once and for all that aspartame is perfectly s...
Read full story"Gandalf Not Gay!" says Tolkiens Son
Christopher Tolkien son of Lord Of The Rings author J.R.R.Tolkien has hit out at some media claims that the Gandalf character is Gay. Speculation about the wizards sexuality increased following JK Rowling's announcement that Professor Dumbledore...
Read full storyBrad Pitt To Change Surname!
Superstar Brad Pitt is looking to change his name as he is fed up with it being used as rhyming slang for s**t. It is not known yet what name he will choose. Legendary singer Eartha Kitt, 81, has also decided to change her name for the same rea...
Read full storyThe Equine Industry Bailout Debate
Washington DC: On this date in history, November 19, 1908, executives from Horse Breeding Companies, Buggy Whip Manufacturers and Stable Owners Associations convened here to testify before Congress. A taxpayer funded $25 Million loan is deemed necess...
Read full storySexist Britain - Letting the bitch know whos boss
Well, no doubt you are trying to read this fantastic, humourous, well-crafted piece of literature with your pleased eyeballs, and somewhere off in the distance you can hear a buzzing. You really want to plough on with this article, hoping, yearning, almost praying that it will give you an excuse to behave like the belligerent, misogynistic, self-satisfying prick you know and pretend to despise. Yo...
Read full storySpark Up Your Conversation - Become an Oddball!
Bored of the same tired, cliched, predictable exchanges we plough through every day to the point that you have begun wondering how many razor blades you have to gargle to make the perfect throat and face blood smoothie? No,me neither, but sometimes an alternative reply does spice things up a tad, and maybe you can even get that stiff backed waiter, bus driver, police officer, mugger etc to crack a...
Read full storyMacy's Thanksgiving Day Parade Rejects
NEW YORK CITY - Every year literally hundreds of bands, drill teams, and other marching units that request to participate in the annual Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade are turned down. Millie Ninnyweather, 63, is the executive director of The Macy...
Read full storyWhat to do about Bill?
The inner circle of the nascent Obama administration is wrestling with the concept of Hillary Clinton as Secretary of State. The problem, according to insiders, is not so much a question of her plainness and incompetency as it is with what to do about her Bill. Apparently, the former President has become a Democratic embarrassment. While the President-elect and his cronies have been meeting...
Read full storyArsenal Former Captain William Gallas Speaks To His Manager In French
William Gallas, the loose-lipped captain of Arsenal, has resigned the role, after telling Gunners' boss Arsene Wenger that the team lacked guts, that he hated his boss, and that the writing had been on the wall since the home defeat to Hull City.
Read full storyManchester Gang Members Arrested Attempting To Buy Harrier Jump Jets And Apache Helicopters Off Undercover MI6 Agent.
Four alleged Manchester gang members were arrested yesterday following an undercover sting by MI6 agents and accused of attempting to buy some pretty naughty weaponry from an undercover agent. Inside sources revealed that the men were arrested fol...
Read full storyPresident Barack Obama Asking for White House Pie Fights, Says Bolton
Barack Obama has chosen several of his advisors in the past few weeks and some of his supporters are upset that the people he has chosen are not new faces. Obama's supporters would argue that he needs experienced people to pass important legislation.
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