Washington AC/DC - (Hairy Ass Mess): Senator Hillary Clinton was rushed to the emergency room today and treated for a Lewinsky Syndrome Variant hairballs following protracted arselicking discussions for the Secretary of State's position in the Obama Administration.
Clinton, 69, was also treated for suspected tracheostenosis, an abnormal narrowing of the lumen of the trachea which appeared to have become constricted with pubic hairs and semen.
Minor surgery was also required for carpet burns to her knees and abrasions to her tongue the surface of which appeared to have become eroded from some form of exploraroty activity.
The New York Senator has now been confirmed to suck seed (sic) Condoleezza Rice.
