Abu Dubai Hotel Will Dance And Sing Like Michael Jackson
Abu Dubai-- This tiny emirate of Abu Dubai continues to capture the world's attention with its daring architecture. Michael Jackson is working with architects on a 57 story hotel that can sing and dance. Mr. Jackson says the building will be name...
Read full storyBarack Obama Claims He 'Doesn't Hate Hillary Clinton Or Wants To Put A Stake Through Her Heart'
In a speech today, Senator Barack Obama claimed that he didn't 'hate that ugly poisonous piece of bloodsucking trash Hillary Hitler Clinton', to make peace with his former rival.
Read full storyBush tells Kyoto commitee to deal with it
Kyoto, Japan - In a first time appearance, President George W. Bush made one thing clear. "If you don't like it, then you get out of America." When a French reporter pointed out they weren't in America, the president shot right back...
Read full storyBig Brother Dennis Evicted For Saliva Abuse
Big Brother inmate Dennis McHugh was sensationally evicted from the show today, after he broke Channel 4 Saliva Rules during a heated discussion with Mohamed, which also included several other moroni...
Read full storyRobert Mugabe Quietly Optimistic of pulling off a Surprise Election Victory
Robert Mugabe announced today that he was quietly optimistic of pulling off a Surprise Election Victory in the run-off against his long time rival Morgan Tsvangirai.
Read full storySpanish Claim To Be A United Country To Try And Win Euro 08
Today, people all across Spain tried to claim that it was a real nation, to try and boost morale for the Euro 08 final against Deutschland.
Read full storyParis Hilton Donates Income To Children's Hospital From Mini-Me Sex Tape
(Los Angeles-CA) A year after telling Larry King that she "wanted to help kids with MS and breast cancer," Paris Hilton is making good on her word. It was announced today that a sex tape with noted actor, Vern "Mini-Me...
Read full storyKeith Olbermann Signs Contract to Hate George Bush
Keith Olbermann, the host of "Countdown" an MSNBC news program, has renewed his contract with MSNBC to hate George Bush for another year.
Read full storyPresident Bush in Awe of Mugabe
(Washington, DC) - President Bush today said that he was watching the election in Zimbabwe "very closely," and hoped to pick up more reelection tips as the process continued. Referring to the current president of the African nation alterna...
Read full storyBits of fabled Atlanits castle found on dark side of the moon
Joderell Bank - (Lunatic Mess): Huge chunks of the former palatial fortress of Atlantis have been photographed on the dark side of the moon by International Space Station cameras tracking a meteorite strike that destroyed the fabled ancient kingdom t...
Read full storyJaded tennis pro Gimelslob slams women with balls
Wimbledon - (Grand Slam/Thank You Ma'am Mess): Wimbledon slagging-off fortnight has kicked off with a ballsy attack on the monstrosity of women players by a spokesman for the Association of Male Tennis Wannabes.
Read full storyNorth Koreans Refuse To Adopt Shania Law
George W Bush looks set to leave the world stage on an all-time high after talks with North Korea broke down with accusations that there was 'way too much' Shania Twain in the negotiations.
Read full storySwiss elevator and escalator group mistakenly receives film award
At a glittering film award presentation ceremony held in Geneva last night, one of the world's largest manufacturers of escalators, walkways and lifts received a European Oscar before anyone realised it was in error.
Read full storyWorld Sperm Bank in Crisis as Giant Storage Freezer Breaks Down
Yesterday in Geneva a spokesman for the World Sperm Bank Dr Dick Cumalott announced that a Giant Freezer stored at St. Peters Hospital had defrosted in the middle of night meaning that several million gallons of Love Juice had been irreparably damage...
Read full storyLabour misplaces deposit in Henley by-election
The Conservatives have won the Henley by-election, with Labour candidate Richard McKenzie losing his deposit as he trailed in behind the Greens, the British National Party, the British Library, the Sinclair C5 and even the Co-op.
Read full storyLove to Love You Baby
The Vic Sailboat was afloat. Rowers, chained to the floor. Blood-stained chain had badly bruised Kevin's shin; the white bones, exposed. Soon the tendons would snap. The slave driver, whipping the rowers.
Read full storyNew car expected to attract pricks and douche bags
Hiroshima, Japan- Acura unveiled its new luxury line of sedans at a Japanese auto show last week. Honda, which owns the luxury line acura, intended the new A/SS for American sales only because of the abundance of pure uncut assholes who need cars thi...
Read full storyWomen's study on average penis size yields negative results.
Houston, Texas- A recent Houston women's study found that among the 1,004 four men who involuntarily submitted information on their penis size, very few were at all impressive or up to par.
Read full storyStation Manager: "I Had no Idea Imus was a Racist Wop"
NEW YORK, NY - David White, station manager of WABC New York, is claiming ignorance as a defense after finding himself at the center of the latest debacle involving shock-jock Don Imus.
Read full storyCharles and Camilla Stay for First Time in Wales Retreat
Carmarthenshire Wales - Llywnywermod was assumed ownership by Prince Charles in 2006 after evicting rightful owners for unpaid taxes and has been undergoing renovations ever since. Yesterday Prince Charles paid tribute to the palace toadies...
Read full storyTop 4 Reasons Your Teenager Needs to Get Their Freak On!
1.) STD's are hot. What is more fun than having chronic genital herpes the rest of your life? Warts are a great way to attract suitors; those sexy blisters are a red light to the opposite sex signaling a great partner.
Read full storyObama Calls for Ghetto Black Change
Washington, D.C. - "America, I see a bright, black future ahead. I have a dream- a dream that one day Americans can stand hand-in-hand and rap Crank That with Soulja Boy." These stunning remarks were part of Obama's want-to-be Martin...
Read full storyMartian Soil Fantastic For Growing Weed Says NASA
Houston TX-- Red-eyed NASA scientists glowed with pride today when they announced the first results from the Phoenix Mars Lander. The lander was sent to test the Red Planet's soil and it arrived last month. The results show the soil is full of nu...
Read full storyGus Hiddink Heads For Gulag
Gus Hiddink, the coach of beaten Euro 2008 semi-finalists Russia, has been summoned back to Moscow by Russian President Dmitry Medvedev, and will be sent to a Gulag - never to be seen again. Hiddink was the toast of the Kremlin last week after gu...
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