Top 4 Reasons Your Teenager Needs to Get Their Freak On!

Funny story written by AliceinWonderland238

Friday, 27 June 2008

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1.) STD's are hot. What is more fun than having chronic genital herpes the rest of your life? Warts are a great way to attract suitors; those sexy blisters are a red light to the opposite sex signaling a great partner.

2.) The best chance for a teenager to get pregnant is to have sex countless times a day, preferably with different people each time. Pregnancy is the best way for a teenager to succeed in school. Pregnancy clubs are on the rise, and within each union is many intelligent members ready to give birth to new ideas for the world.

3.) As any teenager knows, maintaining a healthy weight is a challenge; dieting sucks and working out is boring. Cool kids know how to beat the fat-fuck it. Having sex multiple times a day and with many different partners is a great form of exercise by burning those unwanted calories. However, for those who truly need to lose weight, this is not a dating help guide, so try your fat-ass best at finding a mate.

4.) Teenagers getting their Freak On at a earlier age provides more experience leading a way to a future career. Why flip burgers at McDonalds when you can work at the local strip bar ladies? Or gentlemen, you too can be prostitutes. These fine careers have high pay, and the more experience the more money.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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