A new age, a new Internet - Gates
Microsoft guru Bill Gates has said he is expecting a whole new breed of computer to be in everyone's homes in five years, and he will personally be calling around to check.
Read full storyRelaxation on what you can take on planes
Air travellers can look forward to taking a full set of limbs onto planes after regulations were relaxed at most airports across the UK.
Read full storyDr. Phil Involuntarily Committed for Schadenfreude
Dr. Phil, the famous TV psychologist, was taken away in a police car today from his studio after a team of top-notch psychiatrists diagnosed him with the little known but quite prevalent psychiatric disorder of schadenfreude, or taking pleasure in th...
Read full storyClinton Surges Ahead in Iowa
Des Moines, Iowa -- Just days after her miserable third place finish in the Iowa caucuses, Hillary Clinton is again out-polling her Democratic rivals. Clinton now is at 35% to Obama's 29% to Edwards 20% in Iowa. Encouraged by the trend, Mrs. Cl...
Read full storyCost Of Living Goes Up, Cost Of Dying Goes Up More
Never mind moaning about the cost of living, the cost of dying is set to soar!...
Read full storyMrs Thatcher's original cabinet to re-form for anniversary tour
Following the success of The Spice Girls, Take That and Led Zeppelin, Mrs Thatcher has announced that she will be undertaking a tour of the UK with the surviving members of her various cabinets.
Read full storyDavid Cameron reaches out to Britain's youth
In a blatant attempt at winning votes and popularity Tory leader David Cameron joined a dogging session this lunchtime with the unemployed youth of Milton Keynes.
Read full storyMike Tysons dirty laundry revealed!
The paparazzi and spoofists alike have uncovered a deep and shocking secret from the hidden past of heavy weight boxer Mike Tyson. Mike Tyson's real name is apparently not Mike Tyson! The boxers real name is Bambi Tyson.
Read full storyPrince William Gives Up Drinking, but Clubbing Meets Royal Seal of Approval
The future heir to the throne has announced today; "yes he is definitely going to give up drinking, But…" In keeping with Royal traditions and their penchant for blood sports, he wouldn't like to upset his Granddad and...
Read full storyMan prosecuted for selling his own urine
A man was given an ASBO yesterday at Manchester Crown court and also awarded 200 hours of community service for attempting to pass his off own urine as Australian Lager.
Read full storyHugo Chavez: "Camilla is a hairy slag, Diana ain't dead & Britney is a model Mom"
Caracas, Venezuela - (Crackpot Mess): In a departure from his customary rant about Global Piss Process leaders Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez has spoken to GQ Magazine's roving editor Naomi Campbell today about some of the world's...
Read full storyCub pelts turned into Russian oligarchs' wives knickers as Nuremberg Zoo consigns Knut's new playmates to death row
Germany - (Bear Ass Mess): A new policy initiative at Nurmeberg Zoo has consigned scores of newly-born bi-polar bear cubs to death row after authorities vowed never again to go the Knut path of human hand-rearing.
Read full storyBeckham Shows Signs of COD
Ageing footballer, former England Captain, and male model, David Beckham is struggling to keep in the media spotlight these days and knows that his footballing days are coming to an end. "I have only got 3 years and 3 months and 33
Read full storyMore Stallone Sequels in the Making
Sequel City, CA (Fox News) - Based on the success of "Rocky Balboa" and his upcoming new "Rambo" film Sylvester Stallone has decided to make more sequels of his own movies. Stallone has said that he got the idea from Bruce Willis...
Read full storySudan teacher on death row for naming teddy bear Gordon
A teacher from Sudan was undergoing intense interrogation today, in the top British police headquarters at New Scotland Yard.
Read full storyBarack Obama suspected of terrorism
Presidential candidate Barack Obama Hussein has been arrested on suspicion of terrorism. Redneck detectives are interviewing the token mixed-race Democrat about his 'funny sounding name'.
Read full storyIowa Caucus Results Due in Nine Months
DESMOINES, Iowa - After months, of thousands upon thousands of volunteers wandering around the State of Iowa, officials expect to add at least 10,000 new caucusers come late summer and early fall of 2008.Apparently, these volunteers who went door t...
Read full storyTiger victims 'were carrying Aborigine catapults; blowguns and boomerangs' to stalk and kill their prey', say San Francisco Zoo officials
San Francisco, California - The latest outrageous claim from San Francisco Zoo officials where a tiger attack killed a 17-old-boy and mauled two other young men came today when they alleged that the reason why the tiger that leaped from its sub-stand...
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