Jones Measures Up Punishments
Disgraced track star Marion Jones has been offered two choices for her punishment on perjury charges perpetrated early last year. She must either spend six months in a low security prison or have both of her legs sawn off.
Read full storyBuy-To-Let Kennels Solution For Struggling Northern Rock
Continued rising house prices and falling lending confidence has led struggling mortgage lender Northern Rock to propose a new approach for its recovery. The recommendation is for new mortgage schemes to allow Londoners to apply for buy-to-let mortga...
Read full storyAmerican Lawyers
The following questions by lawyers were taken from actual court documents in America:...
Read full storyFire at Royal Marsden: Police Arrest Wallace and Gromit
Dynamic duo and film stars Wallace & Gromit have been arrested and held in custody following a fire that destroyed much of the Royal Marsden Hospital in London today.
Read full storyGondor to withdraw troops from Iraq
Minas Tirith - One of the remaining nations with troops on the ground in Iraq announced today the withdrawal of its forces there.
Read full storyIs K-Fed the daddy of Jamie-Lynn's baby? Has K-Fed joined polygamous Utah sect?
When Britney's younger sister Jamie-Lynn Spears announced her pregnancy before Christmas the rumour mill went crazy. Each day brings more startling news about 16 year old Jamie-Lynn's pregnancy.
Read full storyVanessa Hudgens 'moons' hotel manager in Dubai!
Vanessa Hudgens has been reported to have 'mooned' the manager of the well known Burj Al Arab in Dubai after he refused her and her entourage entrance to the hotel. Hudgens was apparently looking for boyfriend Zac Efron and...
Read full storyTiger victims victimized for a second time by zoo officials
San Francisco, California - Zoo officials adamantly deny that they attempted to cover-up their failure to adhere to safety standards when they first went public after the tiger incident that an outside independent report was at fault for failing to p...
Read full storyGORE HEADING TO CHAD TO MEDIATE ELECTION RESULT DISPUTE
NASHVILLE, Tennessee - At a press conference today, Al Gore, Jr.made the following statement:...
Read full story'Ain't gonna be Amy's dildo no more' vows Doherty
Montego Bay - (Worse Ass Mess): Looking shagged out and pumped dry of any ability to produce so much as a nanogram of semen ever again Pete Doherty boarded his Ganja Sunshine Winter Tours jet back to London today.
Read full storyChiefs drummer Hodgson misses a beat
Kaiser Chiefs drummer Nick Hodgson has stunned the entertainment world by confessing he cannot use both his sticks at the same time.
Read full storyLovers Escape Parent's Wrath
Young teenage lovers ran away with each other in an attempt to escape the wrath of a parent who loathed the love they share.
Read full storyReal 911 calls
Me: 911, what is your emergency? Caller1: Yes, my neighbors have too many people at their house.
Read full story"Aliens stole my body" - Ron Paul
WASHINGTON. A man who claims to be Ron Paul has told police that Aliens stole his body twenty years ago and are intent on taking over the world.
Read full storyPrice of Gas Spurs General Strike in US
New York, New York (IPP) - The streets of New York City and most other metropolitan areas across the United States are quiet today as folks everywhere are staying home to protest the price of gasoline and heating oil.
Read full storySex Toys Suffering Sexual Dysfunction
Mephistophels, Tennessee (IP) - Doctors at the Baptist Hospital for sexual dysfunction report a sharp increase in the number of reports of sexual toys suffering from sexual dysfunction.
Read full storyLondon Now 2nd Most Dangerous Place in Britain, After Midsomer
The spate of recent knife attacks in London - which culminated in the murders of three people on New Year's Eve - has elevated the capital to second in a league table of the most dangerous places in Britain, Home Office figures revealed today.
Read full storyInspector Clouseau Helping Authorities in Kenya
NAIROBI, Kenya -- As a result of Pakistan reaching out to Scotland Yard for help, Kenyan authorities have decided to do likewise.
Read full storyOil Prices Set To Rise Again As Coalition Forces Turn Down Iraqi Oil Production Once More
"Why the hell did we go there if it wasn't for the oil and to make it cheaper for us to fill our cars?" demanded the once happy Bush supporter at the Rudi Giuliani presidential campaign meeting. It was an outcry that most were thinking but none were saying...
Read full story