Real 911 calls

Written by Tim Taylor

Thursday, 3 January 2008

image for Real 911 calls

Me: 911, what is your emergency?
Caller1: Yes, my neighbors have too many people at their house.
Me: Are they being loud?
Caller1: No. They're just there.
Me: So are they causing a problem at all?
Caller1: No. Just a lot of people.
Me: Ok, no noise, no problem...
Caller1: Right. I just don't think they should have that many people at their house.
Me: I see. I'm sorry, that's not a 911 call....
Me: 911, what is your emergency?
Caller2: There's a guy sitting on the corner, and he's saying things to people.
Me (after getting the address and physical description of the person): So what did he say to you?
Caller2: He said "hey, how ya doing?"
Me: ... Ok, did he say anything else?
Caller2: No. He just said that and waved.
Me: Did he make any moves that made you feel unsafe?
Caller2: No, he was just sitting there.
Me: Ok
Caller2: I just think it's suspicious, you know? For him to just be sitting there, saying Hi to people as they pass by...
Me: 911, what's your emergency?
Caller3: I had a bad dream.
Me: Is there someone at home you can talk to?
Caller3: No, I live alone.
Me: Are you an adult?
Caller3: Yes, I'm 23.
Me: So you're calling because you had a bad dream?
Caller3: That's right.
Me: But you don't have a medical emergency, or fire or police emergency?
Caller3: No. I had a bad dream. I can't call my friend because my cell phone was disconnected because I didn't pay the bill and I can only call 911. Can you call my friend for me?
Me: Let me just make sure - you are 23 years old, you had a bad dream, and you called 911 so that we could call your friend for you?
Caller3: Yes.
Me: No.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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