Chiefs drummer Hodgson misses a beat

Funny story written by parveen liddy

Thursday, 3 January 2008

image for Chiefs drummer Hodgson misses a beat
Get a grip: Hodgson shows how to hold a drumstick

Kaiser Chiefs drummer Nick Hodgson has stunned the entertainment world by confessing he cannot use both his sticks at the same time.

Hodgson taps out an erratic rhythm on the high-hat and cymbals but mimes the snare drum and the sound is provided electronically.

The electronic wizardry also takes over the bass drum for complex songs like 'I Predict a Riot,' Hodgson admitted last night.

He said: 'Its not my fault really. I wanted to be the singer but that lard bucket Ricky said he was going to do vocals because he had some extra large antique military jackets and I would have to buy the drum kit out of my toilet cleaning money.

'Then he said I would have to do the backing vocals and its really hard. On some songs I just can't co-ordinate my feet and two hands. You try it.

'Only Mickey Dolenz out The Monkees has been able sing and play drums properly - look at Don Henley out The Eagles - how embarrassing is that?'

Hodgson is the latest in a series of musicians who do not actually play their instruments.

Beachboys legend Brian Wilson simply 'pats' the keyboard on stage and his vocals are overdubbed by backing singers.

Liza Minneli does not appear on stage at all and a horrific waxwork robot performs her show entirely when she is on tour.

Who star Roger Daltry is thought to have been replaced on stage by a tuneless dwarf in a wig.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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