Dynamic duo and film stars Wallace & Gromit have been arrested and held in custody following a fire that destroyed much of the Royal Marsden Hospital in London today.
The Royal Marsden has long been a centre of excellence for the treatment of cancer was hit by fire and 5 theatres were destroyed; sending usherettes fleeing for their lives and scattering pop-corn, ice creams and sweets for miles.
Now that the flames have been extinguished and the smoke has cleared, Thames Valley Police can begin their forensic examination of the charred remains of the medical facility. They have already found thousands of cigarette ends and traces of plasticine, cheese and fragments of cream crackers in a cellar in the Victorian part of the hospital along with a nameplate off some crude mechanical device: 'FAG-O-MATIC' it read.
Detective Inspector Max Fine has brought in Wallace & Gromit for questioning in connection with the fire. It is believed they were working on an experimental machine in the area that will allow people to smoke without taking in carecenognics.
Naturally, Gromit, being a Beagle, and who is partial to the occasional cigarette, seemed to be the obvious choice of test pilot, but when questioned, said nothing. Wallace however, explained:
"There had been a malfunction to his Nicotine reducing gear causing a small fire to break out and although he tried to use the fire extinguisher he had bought from Tesco a week earlier it did not work. Unfortunately the hospital air conditioner was on and the fan blew the fames into a blazing inferno. I had to get the lad out of his capsule before he suffocated and besides me Wensleydale was melting!"
