Montego Bay - (Worse Ass Mess): Looking shagged out and pumped dry of any ability to produce so much as a nanogram of semen ever again Pete Doherty boarded his Ganja Sunshine Winter Tours jet back to London today.
Daily Tosser reporters immediately pounced on the Babyshambles singer and demanded to know the lurid details about his sun/sea/sex holiday with Amy Winehouse.
But Doherty was having none of it.
"Me an' Amy's finished," the singer drawled.
"Gotta snatch like a boa constrictor. Took me three days to find my way outta there. AND I needed the Sat-Nav just to find daylight. Only so much that a bloke can take...Hic...
"Sure giving Amy a right seein' to is every red-blooded male's God-given duty.
"Hey! Maybe there's a song in that! (strum, strum) ... Hic.
"But I got me pride. I know when I'm bein' bled dry just for my testosterone-packed manhood.
"So I's told Amy 'It's Over, Babe'.
"Can't just plug me in like some vibratin' sex toy.... Ain't gonna be yer dildo no more, babe!"
Flake Bleeder-Weevil, 25, is in HMP Belmarsh.
