Mephistophels, Tennessee (IP) - Doctors at the Baptist Hospital for sexual dysfunction report a sharp increase in the number of reports of sexual toys suffering from sexual dysfunction.
The disease has apparently morphed or has become genetically mutated and has jumped from humans to sexual toys and machines.
The solution to the growing problem of shrinkage appears to be a synthetic form of Viagra and Cialis mixed together with a fast hardening combination of epoxy and powdered iron.
One unexpected but beneficial side effect is that a dildo can now double as a magnetic compass.
Users of these dildos are warned not to allow their use in close proximity to a computer as the magnetic field generated by the enhanced device may interfere with the computer's ability to operate. The Federal Aviation Administration is conducting a study in order to determine whether or not aircraft safety might be impaired by the presence or use of these devices aboard aircraft.
