Clinton ordered Arundel Castle visits cover up
Arundel, West Sussex - (Lewinsky Prequel Mess): The Clinton presidential era fiction factory is headed for a massive pre-Obama inauguration shock. The feckless GOP-fellating lothario stands accused of abusing his presidential orifice powers by usi...
Read full storyBush Thought Shoes Were Nukes
Astonishing news today revealed that the shoes thrown at President Bush were thought to be the long lost 'weapons of mass destruction'. A spokesman for the CIA said, 'It clearly said NUKE,or something very similar, on the side of the shoes and thi...
Read full storySpoof Writer Blames Miley Cyrus For Billy's 'Achy Breaky Heart'!
A spoof writer, who did not know who Miley Cyrus was, until four weeks ago. Has decided to take the popster to court, for being the daughter of Billy Ray Cyrus. The spoof writer, who should be nameless to protect the guilty ranted "I was totally u...
Read full storyAkrit Jaswal, The 12-Year-Old Indian Doctor, Finds Cure For Boredom
Akrit Jaswal, the 12-year-old Indian boy, who has all the medical knowledge and experience of all the UK's doctors put together, has made a significant breakthrough in the search for a cure for boredom. Akrit is thought to have an IQ higher than E...
Read full storyMorgantown Man Forgets What He Came To McDonalds For
Ten minutes after coming in the front door of the Morgantown McDonalds on South 231, Morgantown resident, Arnold "Green Acres" Pigg told a Morgantown Banner staff member that he couldn't remember what he had came there for. "Obviously, it had som...
Read full storyUncle Aspartame: Blisters
Write Uncle Aspartame if aspartame is giving you any problems in YOUR life. We cannot reply to all letters, but if you are special, we just might reply AND publish your letter here! Dear Uncle Aspartame, I am trying to increase my aspartame intake per the new FDA recommendations, but I keep getting blisters. What can I do? Blistered, at the South Pole Dear Blistered,...
Read full storyUK Media Watchdog Comoffit Barks at BBC
The BBC has been fined £95,000 by media watchdog Comoffit for broadcasting scores of quizzes which listeners didn't even have a cat in Hell's chance of winning. The competitions ran on eight editions of Dermot O'Shyster's Radio 2 show in 2006 and...
Read full storyObama Unveils New Plan For Nation's Economy
President-elect Barack Obama announced today that his economic team will begin work on a new plan to jump start the nation's troubled economy. Based on the theories of turn of the century Italian immigrant and financier Charles Ponzi, the centerpiece...
Read full storyKiller Asteroid Apophis On It's Way To Earth
A blue-ribbon drinking panel of scientists is trying to determine the best way to detect and shoo off any wandering space rocks that might be on a collision course with Planet Earth. "We've been sitting and studying for the killer asteroid,'' Henry B...
Read full storyLarry King's Off-The-Wall Interview With Muntazer 'The Shoe-Tosser' al-Zaidi
SEATTLE, Washington- Larry King flew up to Seattle to interview Muntazer al-Zaidi, the Iraqi journalist who threw two shoes at President Bush during a news conference in Baghdad. LARRY: So, Muntazer. How are ya? MUNT: I'm tired. I'm hungry. And my right arm hurts like hell. LARRY: From throwing your two shoes at President Bush, huh? MUNT: No, I think I slept wrong. LARRY: So Munt, c...
Read full storyJade Goody's £1 million Bentley repossessed
Brave Reality TV heroine Jade Goody has had her beloved £1 million Bentley convertible repossessed by the finance company 'Grabit and Scarpa'. The car originally cost her only £100,000, but due to a variety of exclusive stories in various tabloid...
Read full storyProfessor labels Creationists as 'Nut Jobs'
The improbably named Professor Penis McTitty caused uproar at yesterday's International Science Convention when he branded all Creationists as "nut-jobs". A verbal sparring match ensued between a group of Creationist's from Alabama who has acciden...
Read full storyThe Fonz To Star In St James' Primary School's Christmas Panto!
In recent years a glut of Australian soap stars have been drafted in to the UK, to appear in UK pantomime. Henry Winkler, who used to be the Fonz and very cool, is now joining fellow U.S stars in this bawdy, British tradition. Starsky and Huggy B...
Read full storySaudi Arabia Announces Bankruptcy
Ryder Saudi Arabia: Newspapers here are reporting that Sheik Achmed bin Madoff, the Saudi Arabian Finance Minister, said today that "the Kingdom will be declaring bankruptcy. We expect our American friends in the US Congress to bail us out with short...
Read full storyBritain's Got Talent, However Connie Talbot Possibly Hasn't Say Child-Stars!
Little, cute, angelic, ingenue Connie Talbot, has captured the nation's heart and eardrums, BUT she really isn't that great a singer, say other childhood stars. In a unprovoked tirade. Charlotte Church and Steeple, who once had the voice of an ang...
Read full storyMassive dreidel-shaped Hannukah UFO appears over Madoff's Lipstick Building
New York - (Ponzi Ponce Mess): "At first we thought it was giant inflatable dreidel," neighbors of Ponzi-scam trickster Bernard Madhoff said today following reports of an ominous Hannukah UFO seen hovering over the disgraced trader's Lipstick Buildin...
Read full storySweet Caroline Kennedy Wants It Real Bad!
BOSTON, Massachusetts - It is no secret that Caroline Kennedy, 51, wants the New York junior senator's seat more than anything else in the world. Even more than fancy designer bras from Victoria's Secret, Lobster Newburg, or Cabernet Sauvignon.
Read full storyNew Board Games For Christmas
CINCINNATI, Ohio - One of the biggest toy and board game manufacturers in the world, Milf Botty has just come out with some board games just in time for Christmas. Dawson B. Ellsworth, director of new board game development helped to introduce, market, and distribute the following four new board games. THE GIMME GIMME BAILOUT GAME: One of this Christmas season's most popular board games was...
Read full storyDear Santa
Sandefjord, Norway - Continuing an annual tradition the boys and girls from Snotnoserugrat Bameskole sent letters to over 100 world leaders, celebrities and organizations asking what they would like from Julenisse this year. Here are some of the responses. a wedgie from Lars at Farsi's Muscle World ~ Mahmoud Ahmadinejad the funny outtakes from "Watching Paint Dry and Grass Grow" ~Prime Min...
Read full storyFourth Exerpt From 'Found' Dickens Christmas Carol
In order to enjoy the continuity, dear reader, you should read it's predessors... This was not addressed to Cratchit, or to any one whom he could see, but it produced an immediate effect, and indeed limpness was evident. For again, through the mist shadows emerged, and Cratchit saw himself. He was older now; a man in the prime of life. Slump shouldered and non threatening in any manner. His fac...
Read full storySociety of Determined Meekness to compromise, if only slightly
Following a period of great unrest that included pitched battles on the streets of Athens, Greece, members of the Society of Determined Meekness have made a unanimous decision to reverse their overt response to the Vatican's decision to not grant aut...
Read full storyHeather Mills And Guy Ritchie Marry
Makena HI-- Heather Mills and Guy Ritchie surprised everyone in the world and quietly married each other today. The ex-Mrs. Paul McCartney and the ex-Mr. Madonna tied the knot at a small, quaint church in Wales before flying off to Maui for their ho...
Read full storyTokyo man not guilty of drug use
A local man has been found guilty of a drug induced shooting spree in Tokyo. Asoko Nakamoto was found guilty of shooting 17 people whilst under the influence of LSD, guilty of possession of the drug, but acquitted of taking it. Judge Yoshi Ka...
Read full storyMein Kampf Fair receives large turnout
The Municipal Government of Munich, Germany hosted the first annual "Main Kampf Fair", celebrating the most noted work of Adolf Hitler, from December 18-23. The turnout of 130,000 exceeded organizers' expectations. The date has no special signifi...
Read full storyObama Chooses GH-8 Meister to Deliver Inaugural Invocation
H-8 minister and author of Purposely Driving the Gay Life into the Gutter, Rick "Rabbit" Warren played a significant role in making candidate Obama look a little less stupid than John McCain during campaign 2008. The reward for the media props for O...
Read full storyTheSpoof.com at the Top of 100 More or Less Useful Websites
They gushed over google and got all fired up for firefox but in the end satirical treasure trove TheSpoof.com came out and came all over its internet competitors. Website critic and arachnid expert Brownie Recluse found the humorous satire on The...
Read full storyDick Cheney mails out RSVP invitations to his "S & M" themed anti-inauguration ball
Washington, D.C. - Overly concerned that no one in Washington, D.C. will be attending the anti-inauguration ball his was planning to throw for Barack Obama, just because of his recent confession on national TV of using torture to solicit information...
Read full storyCanterbury's Williams Would Bury State Religion to make New Longest English Word
Antidisestablishmentarianism like Britannia has long ruled the waves of English diction. The Archbishop of canterbury seems anxious to broadside that ship to free the Church from the State and the State from the Church and introduce into the lexicon...
Read full storyUS Paralysed By Freak Weather Conditions - Something Fishy Going On Here Says Bill O'Reilly
In a day of unprecedented weather 'strangeness' TV anchor Bill O'Reilly stated categorically that in his opinion,'Something fishy is going on here.' As indeed there was. Buffalo NY was left reeling under a nonsensical anchovy downpour, which wa...
Read full storyRoyal Family To Go Out For Christmas Dinner
It has been revealed by the august organ 'Times Of The Radio And Stuff Christmas Edition' that the Royal family are to venture out for Christmas dinner, which means effectively that HRH's Christmas speech will not be broadcast as per tradition. 'T...
Read full storyAustralia's Rudd Escapes Dwarf Throwing
Prime Minister Kevin Rudd on a surprise visit to the troops serving in southern Afghanistan narrowly missed being hit by a tossed dwarf. The dwarf, known as Sneezy, was wearing nothing but two stubby holders covering his feet and a tennis ball over h...
Read full storyA+E Department introduce 'Drunk tanks' for Xmas period.
Accident and Emergency units across the Irish Republic have introduced 'Drunk Tanks' for the duration of the Xmas period in order to keep the Casualty section 'Piss head' free a for the duration. Senior staff nurse Aine O'Really explains "We ha...
Read full storyBarack Obama Named Person of the Year
Tempus Magazine announced today that United States President Elect Barack Obama is their Person of the Year for 2008. Until recently, the award was known as Man of the Year. This however, was changed to be politically correct. This year marks th...
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