Madonna and McCain to change places
In a surprise move today, Republican Presidential candidate John McCain and pop star and dancer Madonna decided to change places and careers. McCain will be replacing Madonna on her Sweet and Tacky tour, and will be singing such hits as 'Holiday (...
Read full storyBritish Extremists To Be Deradicalised With Promises Of Slags
The government has decided to combat the radicalisation of young British Muslim Extremists by offering its own version of the dogma, and reworking of some of the information contained therein, to fall in line with the British way thinking. Princip...
Read full storyAC/DC dilemma of two-headed demi god baby
Dhaka, Bangladesh - (Inbreeding Mess): Will one half of him be gay and the other straight? That is the dilemma flummoxing doctors at the Bang Galore Maternity Unit in Keshobpur after a baby boy was born with two heads but only one set of all other...
Read full storyAwesome numerology of Saturday's Virgo New Moon: unmasking a deadly KGB traitor
Langley, Va - (9/11 Mess): The CIA's President George Herbert Prescott Bush Center for Intelligence (sic) HQ is getting jittery. Its X Files division is panicking ahead of Saturday's Virgo new moon when the planet Venus enters Libra, the sign Just...
Read full storyMichael Jackson Awaits Face Transplant From Edward Kennedy
Chappaquiddick MA-- Former pop star Michael Jackson checked into the Chappaquiddick Hospital last week in preparation for a face transplant. Blue-fly maggots consumed most of his facial flesh after his recent acquittal on child molestation charges.
Read full storyEd-E-torial 24: Amber Colt--A Girl And Her Top(less)
(New York--NY) Ed-E-torial is back, and you voted. And yes, Amber Colt will be the new co-host. Not only is Amber ready to take on the tough stories, she's ready to take off her top for a good cause. And that cause is Darfur relief. If Amber can do that, can't you do your part to help? Visit eBay to bid on Amber's bra. And check out Ed-E-torial 24.
Read full storyMost Homelessness Linked to Evictions by McCain
Investigations following Senator John McCain's statement that he doesn't know how many houses he owns have revealed that most homelessness in the United States today is the result of evictions from housing owned by the Arizona senator. Although...
Read full storyRepublican Blow Job
At the Democratic Convention last night Hillary Clinton threw her undoubting support behind Barack Obama. With extraordinary resilience and forgiveness she demonstrated how to heal wounds and build bridges in an unmitigated astonishing attempt to...
Read full storyPowerful bastard possibly involved in potential misdemeanour
The financial world awoke to reports that an unnamed individual in an undisclosed executive position at an unspecified corporation may have been involved in corrupt, immoral or unscrupulous dealings of some sort. Although details remain patchy, the...
Read full storyWhat an Endorsement!
In a dramatic end to last night's Democratic National Convention's "Obama Love Fest", Hillary Clinton, with sweat lining her fevered brow, an ecstatic gaze that seemed to puzzle Bill, and with body language that made Congressmen blush, declared, "Bar...
Read full storyThe lure of erratic films
Tarquin Splint is Britain's most successful maker of erratic films to date. In 2001 he spotted a gap in the market and began casting for his first blockbuster 'Actinit', the story of the ill-fated White Stag loner who crashed into an iceberg lettuce and was drowsed. His reward was a place in the anals of cinema history and at his home in Beverley, I caught up with him to ask about his latest o...
Read full storyZac Efron Confesses!
Zac Efron yesterday admitted that he and his girlfriend, Vanessa Hudgens, star of Disney's High School Musical, are currently basking in the news that Hudgens is pregnant! Vanessa is 6 weeks pregnant hence the reason she has laid low for a while.
Read full storyManchester United Star Vidic A Keen Trainspotter
Manchester United's 26-year-old Serbian centre-half Nemanja Vidic has been talking about his love for the Northern capital and his favourite pastime when he isn't playing football - the ancient English art of Trainspotting. Vidic told Russian jour...
Read full storyLadies and Gentlemen : We got him!
Osama bin Laden, the world's most wanted man, was arrested yesterday 10 years after he was first indicted by the United States for conspiracy to commit Acts of Terrorism. The 51-year-old was wanted in connection with the August 7th 1998 bombing of...
Read full storyKerry Katona...Good news at Last
Kerry Katona has won substantial undisclosed damages over allegations she once worked as an assistant Librarian . The article in the Sunday Mirror claimed the ex-Atomic Kitten star had overseen the issuing and discharging of books at the Bebington...
Read full storyMassive Changes in the Alcohol Laws by 2010
Self extinguishing cigarettes that go out in 60 seconds if they are not smoked will become compulsory across Europe within three years. A new EU ruling will force tobacco companies to use fire retardant paper in all cigarettes by 2011 in a bid to cut...
Read full storyMiliband f*cks Brown (in a political sense of course)
Self confessed Bi-sexual David Miliband has insisted he is not "campaigning" for the Labour leadership - despite admitting to be the man behind the recent spate of 'Yo Gordon' jokes at Westminster. He said that frustration prompted him to start th...
Read full storySiamese Twins To Play U.S. Open Sharapova Withdraws in Horror!
Flush Meadows, Ny - It was an historic first day at Flushing Meadows where on one of the side courts the world's first Siamese twins to play professional tennis made it through to the second round. The girls actually received a bye as Maria Shara...
Read full storyI Contacted Syd Barrett's Spirit!
Deceased psychedelic hero Syd Barrett is on top form in the spirit world. Medium Agatha Blunstone decided to contact the man who in life was an elusive inspiration to a legion of fans. Agatha said that Syd must be content in his new life as a ghos...
Read full storyFacebook To Face Challenge From Facebutt
Facebook, the internet social networking site is to face a strong challenge from its newest rival Facebutt. * The new site is similar to Facebook, but with the added quirk of asking members to post a picture of their bottoms instead of their faces...
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