Kerry Katona...Good news at Last

Funny story written by Kent Pete

Wednesday, 27 August 2008

image for Kerry Katona...Good news at Last
Kerry's Arse yesterday

Kerry Katona has won substantial undisclosed damages over allegations she once worked as an assistant Librarian .

The article in the Sunday Mirror claimed the ex-Atomic Kitten star had overseen the issuing and discharging of books at the Bebington Central library before becoming famous. Other duties were said to include book repairs and filing of catalogue cards, cuttings, photos, and slides. Katona was also rumoured to be heavily involved in shelving and shelf tidying.

But the High Court was told the allegation was "completely false".

The settlement involves the payment of a five-figure sum and Katona's legal costs.

The tabloid had claimed the star's mother, Sue, had secured a six-figure publishing deal for her autobiography which would "dish the dirt" on her daughter.

Katona's agent, John Price, said: "The truth is that Sue Katona has never alleged that the claimant worked in the library business either before or after her pop fame".

He said that the claims could have had a very detrimental effect on Katona's career. "We all know about Kerry's childhood. An alcoholic mother, an absent father, her aunt's dodgy dry cleaning business in West Kirby. She left Atomic Kitten over seven years ago and has done nothing of note since. Tabloid interest in my client relies totally on her tragic past and her wild self destructive behaviour. Take that away and what would she have left ?. It is not out of the question that she might have started singing again. The public have not heard her 'new creations'. I have and trust me the court verdict was in everyone's interest".

Price added, "Assistant Librarian for fuckssake. She was far more likely to get her Dudley's out for rich American tourists"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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