Written by Tom Power

Wednesday, 27 August 2008

image for Powerful bastard possibly involved in potential misdemeanour
Has this powerful bastard done something untoward? Who can say?

The financial world awoke to reports that an unnamed individual in an undisclosed executive position at an unspecified corporation may have been involved in corrupt, immoral or unscrupulous dealings of some sort. Although details remain patchy, the sudden revelations threaten to cause a stir among the business elite.

"When somebody who holds a position of some authority within a company of some kind is involved in some manner of professional misconduct, it creates the potential for damaging repercussions on domestic or international stock markets," said a broker who wished to remain anonymous. "That said, it could just as easily have no effect whatsoever. It's just incredibly difficult to predict."

Financial insiders confirmed the purported incident was "almost certainly related to business". "Insider trading cannot be ruled out," mused one clandestine commentator, "nor can it be ruled in". Shareholders did not react to the alleged event in any uniform manner, though analysts have tentatively suggested that stocks may have traded on one or more stock exchanges over the last 24 hours.

The situation was best summarised by another private pundit: "A powerful bastard was possibly involved in some incident which may or may not constitute a misdemeanour, and which could, but might not, impact particular financial markets in a potentially negative way. Alternatively, nothing happened."

Henry Henry, 2008.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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