Punched Monet Painting Put Up No Fight Whatsoever
Paris, France - Art critics and curators alike were shocked today after discovering that the priceless work "Le Pont d'Argenteuil" was not only punched in the Orsay Museum early today but also was found to have done nothing to...
Read full storyNew Liquor by Amy Winehouse Hits Shelves, Walls
London, UK - Adding to the long line of celebrities that have lent their name to a food or refreshment product, Amy Winehouse's new line of bourbon was introduced yesterday at a gala in London's west end.
Read full storyWelsh Rugby Squad's Latest Opponents
We have been given an exclusive on the Welsh Rugby teams latest opponents, Mambie and Asato the Western Lowland Gorillas from Paignton Zoo.
Read full storySad news about Lager
Yesterday scientists claimed that the results of a recent test had revealed the presence of female hormones in lager, and advised men should take a long hard look at their consumption. The theory is that drinking beer makes men turn into women.
Read full storyAl Boredo take hostages
Terrorists from the group Al Boredo fighting for longer school holidays for school teachers have kidnapped fifty 4x4 drivers from outside their school and taken them hostage.
Read full story"Ping Pong Diplomacy Redux" Expects to Attract Record Television Viewership
Somewhere in the Taiwan Strait - The inaugural China-Taiwan Table Tennis Challenge (dubbed 'Ping Pong Diplomacy Redux') will be held this year at a neutral site somewhere between Taiwan and mainland China.
Read full storyGay Mount Rushmore Unveiled
San Franthisco, California (IP) - The gay counterpart to Mount Rushmore was opened to the public today in Humboldt County, California.
Read full storyNew "Childless" Britney Spears Has More Time Than Ever To Do Drugs, Have More Kids
A new, "child-free" Britney Spears will finally have the time and energy she has desperately yearned for to do more drugs and possibly have more children.
Read full storyBritney Spears' Vagina Etched Onto Mount Rushmore
Mount Rushmore, South Dakota (IP) - Britney Spears vagina has joined the president's faces etched out on Mount Rushmore in South Dakota. The gaping image of that now famous organ had to be placed there carefully so it would not sit directly on t...
Read full storyPromising to Make People Rich is the Only Way to Get Rich on the Internet, Study Reveals
After six years of study, the London School of Economics has concluded that the only way to get rich on the internet is to promise to make people rich.
Read full storyBritney Spears Solves Cold Fusion Formula
Mount Polamar, California (IP) - Everyone knows Britney Spears lost her child custody battle recently but few realize that she earned her doctorate in cosmic unification theory and nuclear physics in record time.
Read full storyCosta Rica Develops World's Largest Rocket
Ascension Beach, Costa Rica (IP) - Costa Rica has joined the space race in a big way after developing the largest rocket ever built by any nation.
Read full storyCure For The Common Cold
(Washington) - Presidential front runner, Hillary Clinton, today announced that, if she is elected, she will reveal the cure for the common cold.
Read full storyNude Big Brother Twins' Pics Eclipse Vanessa Hudgens
Newcastle - (Ass Mess): Big Brother twins Sam and Amanda Marchant's naked, auto-erotic internet pics have stormed into the lead and taken over from High School Musical starlet Vanessa Hudgens as cyberspace's most viewed and downloade...
Read full storyMichigan Cop Saves Skunk With Head Stuck in Salad-Dressing Jar
Carrollton Township, Michigan - (BigBong Mess): A Michigan police officer has managed to evade arrest for growing high-grade cannabis plants at home despite becoming incapacitated through getting his head stuck in a jar of Hellman's Mayo.
Read full storyCritics Applaud Last Merdini Film, 'Homme Sur La Toilette'
The Paris film festival was wowed yesterday at a special showing of the unearthed Merdini masterpiece, 'Homme Sur La Toilette.' In the film - completed months before the writer and director's death - a male proletarian is depicted defecat...
Read full storyRock 'could remain unrepentant'
Shitty of London - (Embezzlement Mess): Northern Rock could stay unrepentant and even keep its current board of leeches according to reports in the City of London.
Read full storyNorth Carolina highway patrol to receive new accommodations
The North Carolina state legislature passed a bill today helping highway patrol officers do their job better. In light of the recent rash of troopers taking indecent liberties with motorists, the state department announced today that a bill has been...
Read full story"Different Strokes" midget Gary Coleman becomes a Judge
Former "Differenet Strokes" star Gary Coleman has been made a Judge. The diminutive actor admits he has no experience whatsoever but is delighted with his new position of authority.
Read full storyUgly Brawl at Sacred Heart Hospital Results in Season-Long Suspensions and Hefty Fines
North Haverbrook's Sacred Heart Hospital officials say they've never seen anything like it, and intend to never see it again. Four doctors and two nurses have been immediately suspended and may face a season long suspension for their part in...
Read full storyHenri admits underestimating "the frogs"
(Swansea) Thierry Henri, coach of the defeated SouthSeas XV, has admitted in a post match interview that he may have underestimated the fighting spirit of the French rugby team.
Read full storyPolice TV Shows "Not That Realistic"
HOLLYWOOD - Leading law enforcement professionals throughout the US are becoming increasingly vocal about the sheer number of false portrayals depicted in police dramas.
Read full storyDue out in bookstores soon: '67% Certain (the True Story of How Floyd Landis was Found Guilty of Using Exogenous Testosterone after his Stage 17 Victory during the 2006 Tour de France)'
Capitalizing on their "15 minutes of fame" related to the Floyd Landis doping scandal, two members of the three-person independent panel from the American Arbitration Association (AAA)/North American Court of Arbitration for Sport (CAS) hav...
Read full storyPossible Homosexual Sighting In Iran
TEHRAN -- A homosexual sighting was reported in Iran early Saturday morning. Iranian authorities received an anonymous tip from a man who lives in Zabol, a small city near the border with Afghanistan. The man claimed another man was checking him out...
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