Rove Challenges Bush to Speed Read'n Contest
Karl Rove, a wee bit bent after President Bush implied that Rove screwed up 'the whole dang'd election' challenged Bush to a Speed Read'n contest to prove once and for all who the REAL idiot in the Oval Office is.
Read full storyMr. Bill Arrested After Terrorist Plot Uncovered
NEW YORK-Actor and famed Saturday Night Live fall guy, Mr. Bill was arrested today on charges of conspiracy to commit terrorist acts.
Read full storyBruce Lee, the Myth, the Actor
Bruce lee, the name itself spells kung-fu, martial arts. However upon investigation we have found out that Bruce lee was not what people believed. Bruce lee use to be "Twiggy" and she had an operation and became Bruce. For those of you who do not rem...
Read full storyNew Speaker of the House Pelosi Upset with Name Confusion
Representative Pelosi is upset about the constant name confusion regarding her last name. In a press conference from the Capitol Building, she offered the following statement: "My name is Pelosi. It is not Tara Lapinski. It is not Spaghetti.
Read full storyBush Dissolves Congress
President George Bush, in an unprecedented move, had dissolved the Senate and the House of Representatives. The movement has already been upheld by the U.S. Supreme Court, whose vote to support the measure was split along party lines. Said Bush in...
Read full story2007 Academy Awards to be Hosted by Blue Collar Comedians
The 2007 Academy Award Ceremony will be co-hosted by Jeff Foxworthy ("You might be a redneck"), Bill Engvall ("Here's your sign"), Larry the Cable Guy ("GIt 'er done"), and Ron White ("They call me tater sal...
Read full storyChinese Submarine on Secret Sex Mission
It was red faces all around again for British security forces when it was announced yesterday that a Chinese nuclear submarine had been monitoring Parliament for the last six months. The sub had apparently been submerged in the River Thames, adjacent...
Read full storyRutgers & Boise State to Meet in Unwanted Bowl
There are only four undefeated, untied teams in major college football and one will fall this week as #1 Ohio State faces #2 Michigan. The other two programs, however, are like Rodney Dangerfield as they "don't get no respect."...
Read full storyRumsfeld Breaks His Silence
Donald Rumsfeld finally broke his silence today following his departure as US secretary of state for defence. here is his statement in full:...
Read full storySpooks lure Wacko to London
London - (ReUterus): Fresh from his recent conversion to the Moslem faith in Bahrain, the self-publicist extraordinaire Michael Jackson lookalike has arrived in London ahead of yet another Harley Street nose-job and is holed up with his entourage at...
Read full storyAryan Nation: Jews control Israeli government
Tel Aviv, Israel (The Surreal Press) - The recently formed Aryan Nation issued its most controversial public announcement to date when it claimed that the Israeli government was controlled by people of the Jewish faith.
Read full storyWhite House Celebration For Losers
Washington, D.C - In an effort to placate the steaming anger of those candidates who lost in last week's election, the White House decided to throw a party and award each member with the Congressional Medal of Freedom. Keeping with the theme of l...
Read full storyLame Duck and Dead Duck in video link with Sitting Duck
Washington DC - (Associated Mess): UK Prime Monster Tony Blair is to submit video-link evidence to the White House Strategy Taskforce - the Iraq Buddy Group - to explain the risible public detumescence of the Special Relationship that has caused a m...
Read full storyChevrolet To Capitalize On Growing UK Niche
U.S car manufacturer Chevrolet are launching a range of new models to tap into the lucrative UK "sub culture" segment. The new range of models will be available only in Burberry paintwork and will me marketed under the CHAVROLET brand, and are se...
Read full storyKellie Pickler Proves Music Critics and Industry Executives Correct
LOS ANGELES - American Idol loser Kellie Pickler is providing just what higher ups in the music industry and academia have been waiting for: vindication.
Read full storyRumsfeld Serenades American People With Popular Folk Song
WASHINGTON-In a farewell tribute to the American people, Donald Rumsfeld took out an acoustic guitar and sung Bob Dylan's, "Don't Think Twice, It's Alright," today at the White House.
Read full storyPeanut Butter and Jelly - No More
Boston MA - What has now become a precedent landmark case regarding the dangerous proprietary blend of two commercial products from two independent manufacturers - peanut butter and jelly, the multibillion-dollar suit feud between Skippy and Welches...
Read full storyWalk on by - Here we go Again
NEW YORK - In an outrageous turn of events, it appears an alleged imposter has posed yet again as top tier celebrity Bindy Lou in this months field and stream centerfold - reptile edition. The imposter who's real name is yet unknown goes b...
Read full storyOlbermann Halloween Mask May Be Responsible for Democrats' Midterm Victory
NEW YORK - MSNBC Countdown host Keith Olbermann admits that viewer e-mail received by the network suggests he may be responsible for causing millions of diehard Fox News viewers, normally conservative Republicans, to vote for Democratic cand...
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