London - (ReUterus): Fresh from his recent conversion to the Moslem faith in Bahrain, the self-publicist extraordinaire Michael Jackson lookalike has arrived in London ahead of yet another Harley Street nose-job and is holed up with his entourage at the uber-chic Hemlock Hotel on the Isle of Dogs.
Oozing supreme confidence in personal talent for self-promotion worthy of a Karl Rove scholarship in fantasy dissemination, Wacko appears to have been lured into a spooky honyetrap after the UK's National Poisons Unit was finally able to analyse the results of successful 1960's cross-pollination experiments between George Bush Jr and Hollywood legend Elizabeth Taylor.
Wacko, 48, recently acted as a Rovian goodwill ambassador between Irish insurance companies still looking for reimbursement of their 1982's Shergar disappearance pay-outs and the luckless Emir of Bahrain - who is still unable to extricate himself out of self-imposed small-print clauses in Tony Blair's notorious 1998 Good Friday Agreement with the IRA.
A tight security cordon remains in place around Wacko's hotel suite as the entertainer rehearses his Thank You speech ahead of MI5's Lifetime Achievement Award later this week.
