Local Restaurant Pick-up Place For Geriatric Set

Funny story: Local Restaurant Pick-up Place For Geriatric Set

DURHAM NC- Earl, winner of last week's flatulence contest, is smiling over the brim of his coffee cup as he eyes Sally. He winks at her, she smiles warmly as her dentures pop out of her mouth. Then, he grabs hold of his walker and limps over to h...

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Bolton to try Ratzinger topless initiative to raise flagging profile

Funny story: Bolton to try Ratzinger topless initiative to raise flagging profile

New York, New York - (Associated Mess): Embattled US Ambassador to the UN John Bolton is believed to be seeking PR advice on the merits of launching his own Pontifical-style topless calendar to raise his limp public profile following Republican Mid-t...

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Kate Moss blamed for Global Warming

Funny story: Kate Moss blamed for Global Warming

Kate Moss was singled out as the main cause of global warming at a meeting yesterday. World leaders united to blame the 32-year-old coke-snorting model for recent changes in environmental weather patterns, which they say could have been avoided if Mo...

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Labour sperm donors probe: Sainsbury quits

London - (ReUterus): That catchy company slogan 'Try something new today' echoed whistfully in his ears this morning as UK Science Minister and top Labour Party sperm donor Lord Sainsbury was booted out of office following the Met Police'...

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God Announces He is No Longer Taking Positions on Sporting Events

Funny story: God Announces He is No Longer Taking Positions on Sporting Events

VATICAN CITY - God announced today that He will cease immediately taking a position on specific sporting events, including the baseball, football and basketball play-offs, or even the World Cup. The announcement came directly as a "Word from Go...

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MI5 monitoring MI5 activity

Funny story: MI5 monitoring MI5 activity

MI5 has announced it is monitoring the notorious organisation known as MI5. "We have over five thousand employees, and we suspect every single one of them, from outrages and sabotage, to spilling coffee on the Ministers' crotch."...

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Britney Spears Disconsolate over Divorce Holds Hollywood Celebrity Christmas Food & Fun Event

Funny story: Britney Spears Disconsolate over Divorce Holds Hollywood Celebrity Christmas Food & Fun Event

HOLLYWOOD -- Britney Spears, still disconsolate over the dissolution of her marriage to Kevin Federline, has decided not to wallow in her sorrow but to go to work for the betterment of the world, especially its lesser beings, says Lynne Spears, Britn...

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Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt to Adopt Britney Spears' Kids

Funny story: Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt to Adopt Britney Spears' Kids

LOS ANGELES (UPI) -- After the uproar raised over Madonna's adoption of 13-month old David from the impoverished country of Malawi, Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt have abandoned their plan of adopting an Indian baby and instead have filed to adopt...

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Government Finally Notices Vermont Secession

Funny story: Government Finally Notices Vermont Secession

White House Press Secretary Tony Snow today reported to the press that the state of Vermont actually seceded from the Union three years ago.

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African-Americans Control Washington Post: Now it Must Be Told

Funny story: African-Americans Control Washington Post: Now it Must Be Told

WASHINGTON - The Washington Post disclosed today that it is run by African-Americans, dispelling rumors that its top leadership is Caucasian. The latest installment of its series, "Being a Black Man," features first hand accounts of how th...

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Bush Refuses to Pardon Thanksgiving Turkey: Condemns "Terrorist" Bird To Death

Funny story: Bush Refuses to Pardon Thanksgiving Turkey: Condemns "Terrorist" Bird To Death

WASHINGTON -- President Bush prepared to grant the traditional pardon to a gift turkey at the White House yesterday, but abruptly condemned the bird to death, accusing it of terrorism.

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60 Minutes Anchor Ed Bradley Dies at 65

Ed Bradley, reporter for the CBS Newsmagazine 60 minutes, passed away due to complications from leukemia. Bradley had been with the show for over 25 years and was the only reporter to interview Oklahoma City bomber Timothy McVeigh before his executi...

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Denise Richards Throws Laptops, Hits Old Ladies

Funny story: Denise Richards Throws Laptops, Hits Old Ladies

Actress Denise Richards, estranged wife of actor and Hollywood Bad Boy Charlie Sheen, is in trouble in Canada. Richards, while trying to escape from media in British Columbia, threw two laptop computers that struck two little old ladies.

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