Amnesia-plea bishop blames spooks' rohypnol spike
London - (Ass Mess): The Bishop of Southfork, the Rt Ravin Tom Butler, has blamed spooky pranksters for spiking his drinks at an Irish Embassy Xmas shindig last week that led to him being found naked in the back of a rolls-royce next morning by bemu...
Read full storyRobosapian Demands Benefits
The release of a speculative paper today by the British Government claims that intelligent robots might someday demand emancipation and be entitled to government benefits. Upon the papers' release a Robosapian electronic toy, which lost...
Read full storyStunning Stat: 5 percent of Americans Virgins on Wedding Day
New York - Statisticians and researchers are scratching their collective heads over this one - as many as five percent of Americans have not had sexual relations prior to their marriage. A visibly shaken President Bush has vowed to work with Congres...
Read full storyNot a "Scary" Daddy, but more of a "Sporty" Daddy
Eddie Murphy vehemently denied any talk this week that he is the biological father of Melanie Brown's (Scary Spice) unborn child.
Read full storyThe Beautiful Game's Not Bent After All
The world of football was reeling tonight when it was revealed that following a top level report by some toff, the beautiful game is deemed to be as clean a whistle.
Read full storyBritney's Shocking Tattoo
The L.A. paparazzi were thrown into a feeding frenzy following Britney Spears' secret late night appointment at a sleazy back street tattoo parlour.
Read full storySony Plans Next Major Marketing Missteps
Foster City, Calif. - Fresh from the recent Alliwantforxmasisapsp.com debacle and on the heels of their ill-conceived attempt to use YouTube, Sony marketing executives outlined new, even more foolhardy plans. Following what one participant described...
Read full storyBrits really do care most about the weather
Following news that UK airlines have been forced to ground flights due to to heavy fog, it has emerged that the British public really are more interested in the weather than any other subject.
Read full storyThe Truth Detector stays in West Wing S&M suite revamp
Washington DC - (Ass Mess): The Situation Comedy Room in the White House's West Wing - where US presidents notoriously make love and war, is being given a facelift.
Read full storyI Will Unmask The Mother of God - Claims Publicist
Publicist, Rex Clifftop, has claimed that he will reveal the new mother of God in this weekend's News of the World.
Read full storyPrince William Cashes in on Christmas Rush
In a total break from tradition, HRH Prince William, is rush-releasing a new 'beat 'em up' video game across all formats, just in time for the Christmas rush.
Read full storyMan sues army after buttocks are removed
A Newcastle man, who was wounded in the buttocks whilst serving in Iraq, is to sue the army for damages. Bob Parts, 32, told our reporters, "I joined the army to have a career and see the world. Nobody said anything about being shot.&qu...
Read full storyRoyal Butler Cashes in on Xmas Rush
In a vomit inducing move, former royal butler Paul Burrell, is releasing an interactive DVD game called 'Queen of Hearts' just in time for the last few mental days of the Christmas rush.
Read full storyPaul Burrell to be publicly stretched
The Queen announced today that Princess Diana's former butler and celebrity kangaroo testicle muncher, Paul Burrell, will be publicly stretched in the centre of London.
Read full storyHistory will judge Blair as a political colostomy
London - (Ass Mess): The founding Illuminatus of the Institute of Contemporary British Hystery has admitted that despite a sustained campaign of bribery and hogwash UK Prime Monster Tony Blair will be judged as a massive colostomy for the Bush Admini...
Read full storyUri Geller's cock shot by mystery assailent
Uri Geller's cock was in hospital last night after being shot in what appears to have been an assassination attempt.
Read full storyComedy news articles on murdered prostitutes banned
A RULING by the UK Board of Spoof News Editors yesterday has banned all joke articles relating to the recent spate of murdered prostitutes in the Ipswich area for the next three months.
Read full storyThe Striptease and Porn Industry on the verge of collapse
Britney Spears' recent public striptease pictures are circulating on the internet like wildfire, immediately affecting the attendance in major strip joints and peepshows. It seems as if people have lost interest in striptease clubs, as interest f...
Read full storyStill No Thaw In Big Freeze Between Paltrow And Madonna Over Nativity Play
The Spoof reported recently about the 'bad feeling' between the showbiz parents of Apple Martin and Lourdes Madonna Ritchie, at the Marie Dubois Junior School in London's trendy Notting Hill, over who was to get the starring role in the s...
Read full storyVaginaless Britney Spears gets booed at Laker game
Britney Spears and her sister Jamie Lynn entered a Laker game over the weekend. After Britney had slammed a few Laker brews the cameras turned on her and she flashed everyone on the jumbotron.
Read full storyJennifer Aniston and Angelina Jolie fly to Tahiti for romantic interlude
Angelina Jolie and Jennifer Aniston have come together in an act of, "forgive and forget". Could turn out to be Brad Pitts' worst nightmare.
Read full storyNaked Orlando Bloom, Nude Lindsay Lohan Mum On US Victory Plan : Implode Iraq and Bring American Troops Home By Christmas
WASHINGTON, Reuters - The United States has come up with a war-winning strategy in Iraq that goes by the name "100 Percent Solution," according to White House and Pentagon sources.
Read full storyMiss USA granted reprieve from "Donald the Merciful"
Tara Conner was crowned Miss USA recently, immediately things went bad, terribly bad according to pageant officials. Tara went ballistic in the clubs around town and was rumored to have failed a drug test. If that weren't enough she was seen publ...
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