Naked Orlando Bloom, Nude Lindsay Lohan Mum On US Victory Plan : Implode Iraq and Bring American Troops Home By Christmas

Funny story written by Chris Hanson

Wednesday, 20 December 2006

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The hoped-for result is a clash that implodes Iraq

WASHINGTON, Reuters - The United States has come up with a war-winning strategy in Iraq that goes by the name "100 Percent Solution," according to White House and Pentagon sources.

This final solution is an expansion of the "80 Percent Plan" favored by Vice President Dick Cheney that called for an all-out effort to help Iraqi Shiite Muslims crush their Sunni brothers.

Under the new strategy, the sources said, Washington will indeed follow Cheney's plan by providing Iraqi Shiites with the training and arms they need to eliminate Sunni resistance.

But the "100 Percent Solution" will go beyond that by providing the Sunnis with the training and arms they need to crush the Shiites.

"The hoped-for result is a Shiite-Sunni clash that implodes Iraq," according to a White House source. "Our boys should be home by Christmas."

The source noted that allied scientists in the World War II Manhattan Project discovered how to initiate a nuclear explosion by channeling the power of a conventional blast inward against radioactive plutonium -- a technique known as "implosion" that brought that war to a swift end.

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