London - (Ass Mess): The founding Illuminatus of the Institute of Contemporary British Hystery has admitted that despite a sustained campaign of bribery and hogwash UK Prime Monster Tony Blair will be judged as a massive colostomy for the Bush Administration.
Defining the nub of his thesis as a "substitute anus through which the gutless can eliminate waste products until the Colon Bowel can heal" the Hystery professor notes that once fully operational, "all subsequent movements fall into a collection pooch" - or Downing Street poodle as Blair has become known.
And of all the towering colostomy figures of the modern British political era - including Margaret Thatcher, J K Rowling, Mohammed Fayed and 'Sir' Bob Geldof, the current incumbent of Number Ten would easily win the nation's Dissembling Windbag of the Century award for his relentless diatribes exonerating the Bush Family Evil Empire from a catalogue of criminal accomplishments that make the Nazis seem like slightly perverted hobgoblins with fundamentally good intentions.
Commenting on the above report a spokesman from the International Colostomy Association noted that while palliative colonic irrigation therapies, including those favored by the late Princess Diana, had once provided temporary solutions to foreign policy dilemmas such as those posed by the Shitt el-Arab waterway south of Iraq, only a long-term campaign of sustained bullshit at the highest level was deemed necessary to get a Bush re-elected into the White House.
"The brainwashing bit was easy: they just leaned on Cherie a bit after comparing her DNA with Margaret Thatcher's and the Yorkshire Ripper."
