There were 71 spoof news stories published in November 2004. You can use the calendar on the right hand side to get news stories from a day in this month.
Virgin Mary grilled cheese sandwich attributed to Cheesus
PORT TRINITY, TN - Just when everyone thought the Virgin Mary grilled cheese sandwich on Ebay was the most famous holy food relic to date, along comes Harvey Romano of Port Trinity, Tennessee, with his claim to a Velveeta holy sculpture.
Read full storyBlue States break up with Red States with cheap, cowardly 'Dear John' letter
The so-called "Red States" which supported George W. Bush and the Neo-Conservative Agenda returned home to find the "Blue States" had ended their long relationship with a simple Dear John letter.
Read full storyCongresswoman closes office over computer threat
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- On the eve of the return of a lame duck Congress, Zoe Lofgren has announced she will close her office on Capitol Hill. Lofgren said she fears "a possible cyberterror attack" that could harm her staff's computers or...
Read full storyElectoral College - Victory for Bush
MONDAY November 1, 2004. There's no business like show business, except perhaps for politics. In an upset that is sure to go entirely unnoticed by the mainstream media the Electoral College has released a full itinerary for each state, inclu...
Read full storyIcecaps Melt, Costner Redeemed
Thaw of the Arctic icecap is accelerating because of global warming but nations in the region including the United States are more concerned about a manditory apology to Kevin Costner for the universal bashing of his scifi flop, Waterworld.
Read full storyBrett Favre trades himself in Fantasy League
In a surprising move, Brett Favre traded himself for Ben Roethlisberger in his competitive Fantasy Football League Monday. He also gave up RB Kevin Jones of the Detroit Lions to complete the deal.
Read full storyMichael Moore Eats One Too Many Tacos, Condenses Into Black Hole
Award winning filmmaker Michael Moore has reportedly condensed into a moderately sized black hole while eating at the Tremendous Taco Restaurant just outside of Little Rock, Arkansas.
Read full storyNHL OWNERS REJECT COMPROMISE, EXPAND LOCKOUT TO PLAYERS' HOMES
The National Hockey League owners, who have locked out the players since September 15, threatening the first-ever entire cancellation of a professional sports season in North America, have rejected the players' latest compromise offer, and announced...
Read full storyNow Bin Laden joins Kerry in Conceding Defeat
Joining John Kerry as a victim of President Bush's seemingly unstoppable juggernaut, the world most wanted terrorist Osama bin Laden has conceded defeat in the terror war and declared that Americans ‘had spoken' over who between him and Bush, was th...
Read full storyExit polls show Osama bin Laden ahead, John Kerry close second, George Bush trailing far behind
NOVEMBER 2, 2004 - Exit polls for Election 2004 conducted early Tuesday morning at 100 voting precincts across the states of Florida, Ohio, California, and Michigan report Osama bin Laden with a 2-point lead over presidential hopeful Senator J...
Read full storyPrince Harry to Become Commander of the SAS.
In a press conference today, a spokesman at the U.K. Ministry of Defence has confirmed growing speculation that Prince Harry (third in line to the British and commonwealth throne) is to become commander of the elite S.A.S, the British army's most rev...
Read full storyWide Sweeping Changes Made to American English Spellings
The Modern Language Association announced today it has devised and will implement several major reforms to the idiosyncratic and often hard to memorize spellings of American's English words.
Read full storyFirst Draft of Bush Victory and Concession Speeches Leaked to Press
In a rare glimpse into the mind of the current and possibly future President of the United States, George W. Bush's personal computer was hacked into and some of the most revealing contents were leaked to the press today. President Bush, apparently...
Read full storyNew England States Declare Independence from USA
After Senator John Kerry's slim defeat in the U.S. elections yesterday, Governors of the states of Massachusets, Maine, Pennsylvania, Vermont, Rhode Island and New Hampshire met in secret session last night (Wednesday) and this morning announced that they were declaring unilateral independence from the United States of America. Their spokeswoman issued a short press release as follows: "...
Read full storyMutilated Mice in Cash Claim
Three visually-impaired mice, who all had their tails severed in a horrific domestic incident, have lodged a compensation claim with the UK's National Farmers Union.
Read full storyAn open letter to Andy Roddick: I thought Tennis was a Gentleman's Game!
"I thought tennis was a gentleman's game!...
Read full storyYasser Arafat "Not Dead Yet"
Paris - Palestinian leaders retracted statements made over the weekend that their embattled leader, Yasser Arafat, had passed away.
Read full storyDanon Quits BT
Pierre Danon, erudite raconteur, secret lovechild of Bob Monkhouse and Francois Mitterand's house maid and Heir to an enormous Yoghurt empire has announced today his departure from the telecoms Giant British Telecom, despite his claims last we...
Read full storyTiny Human Ancestor Found in New York
The discovery of a skeleton of a man barely one meter tall who hunted pygmy elephants and giant hamsters 18,000 years ago could rewrite the origins of humanity, scientists in United States said Thursday.
Read full storyUkraine Elections: Democrats Ask 'Why Didn't We Think of That?
Chagrined Democrats across the United States have been watching the results of the disputed elections in the Ukraine this week as hundreds of thousands of Ukrainians have taken to the streets in Kiev to peacefully protest the results of the President...
Read full storyMoore's Kidnappers Lower Ransom Demands....Again
BAGHDAD, Iraq -- As we all know, Michael Moore, a well-know chinese film propagandist, was kidnapped in Iraq last week. News did not reach the american public for days as the kidnappers found it quite diffcult to capture footage of Moore'...
Read full storyPresidential Selection
In an effort to guarantee a Labor Party victory early next year, Tony Blair made an emergency trip to the United States, asking President Bush to sell Great Britain the Diebold Corporation touch screen voting machines. Designed by Wally O'Dell, n...
Read full storyBush Wins! The World's Safe!
Spoof and satire writers across the globe have heaved a heavy sigh of relief at George W Bush's re-erection to the White House.
Read full storyBush Goes Extra Mile To Win!
In a stunning admission, just (barely) re-elected President George W. Bush admits through CBS News to a surgical procedure that implanted the Alzheimer's gene prior to the Presidential Debates.
Read full storyBoat Sales Rise on East and West Coasts
In the week since the Presidential election, marinas on both the East and West Coasts are reporting a 49% increase in boat sales.
Read full storyBush admits Iraq war mistake, blames Microsoft.
President George Bush has finally admitted that Iraq was the wrong war and blamed his spell checker for the mix up. Blushing thoroughly, George Bush admitted that his intention was to attack Iran but his word processor inadvertently typed Iraq inste...
Read full storyThe President's Bulge
Planning to cross the finish line first, many wonder whether President Bush will be wearing the bulge to win the Presidential race "by a bulge" on election day. After finishing second in all three presidential debates, it is speculated how...
Read full storyBlunkett Forgiven For Everything
Home secretary David Blunkett has been forgiven all his sins by Pope John Paul II after he repaid Parliament for a train ticket he gave ex-lover Kimberly Quinn.
Read full storyBush appoints Kerry Vice President
United States President George W Bush today appointed Senator John Kerry Vice President.
Read full storyMartha is in the spotlight in prison
Martha Stewart has done it again, turned adversity into something good. Serving five months of prison for someone in her status would most likely make most of us hermits . Now in the beginning of confinement. Martha who now wants to be known as Maw...
Read full storyEnraged Parents Demand Firing of Pequot Math Teacher
P.T.A. Pres. Knudsen: Rodham is an "insufferable … mean … stickler for detail"...
Read full storyScientific Expermient Gone Awry Causes Topsy-Turvy World
PHILADELPHIA, PA -- Volatile experminenting at Sheldon H. Brockton Laboratories has unfortunately spawned a ubiquitous effect around the globe.
Read full storyPresident Bush announces new Fallujah war game "Fallujahstein"
WASHINGTON - The new Washington, D.C. gaming website, WhiteHouseWarGames.gov, today announced the release of their first software war adventure, Fallujahstein, a multi-player online action shoot-'em-up game, and the first of many ti...
Read full storyCBS, Rather defend report on Bush Crime Watch Absences
The Eyeball Network is defending itself against another black eye: Questions surrounding the validity of a "60 Minutes" report on George W. Bush's frequent absences from duty with a Crime Watch group in his Texas neighborhood years ago. The report, w...
Read full storyMadden brings anecdotes, turkey gravy to the table
John Madden will be forever remembered as a great and poignant football commentator. His stylings of witty irrelevance shall be steeped in the annals of television history. Yes, John Madden certainly brings a lot to the table, most noticeably inapp...
Read full storyArafat Announces Successor
As his health suffered a further setback today, Yasser Arafat announced whom he wishes to take over his role in the event of his demise.
Read full storyJordan and Peter in right Royal row
English glamour girl Jordan and live-in lover Peter Andre are said to be furious over plans by BBC3 to steal their thunder this Christmas.
Read full storyLiberals Look on Bright Side, Return to Comfortable Hypocracy
"okay okay, Bush won, we can work with this," exclaimed Tad Hamilton of the Democratic National Committee. Hamilton explained that the left can simply return to the 'comfortable' position they've held for the last four years.
Read full storyMiddle East Targeted as Landfill Site
The trans-Atlantic alliance of Bush and Blair has unveiled the visionary map of tomorrow's Middle East - a crater.
Read full storyTom DeLay Takes Charge and more Charges!
During a recent ethics subcommittee meeting, House Majority Leader Tom DeLay sought a loyalty pledge to President Bush from all members. As part of this pledge, subcommittee members were asked to give their souls to Jesus and their asses to the Repub...
Read full storyENRON: Queen plans Guy Fawkes surprise for Blairs
Buckingham Palace, London - (Rioters) Sources close to the HM The Queen today confirmed that Her Majesty is planning a Bonfire Night special treat for Prime Minister Tony Blair and his wife Cherry Bush, in a fitting tribute to whatever the outcome o...
Read full storyLarry's People
It’s my two cents…That '75 El Camino you see tooling around Beverly Hills with the "#1 Delroy Lindo Fan" bumper sticker belongs to none other than yours truly... As I creep closer and closer to death's door, I still get a thrill going online into X-Men chat rooms and calling everyone virgins...Whoever came up with the word "gusto" is a genius!...I'm no scientist, bu...
Read full storyI think I would make a good Assistant Coach of a Minor League Baseball Team
For as long as I can remember, I have always loved sports, baseball in particular. From riding the bench in my little league days to collecting ball cards of the players of my choosing, I was hooked. Baseball was a boy’s game, and in the heart and mesh cap of this aging youngster, this sentiment was all too true. As time has gone on, my love for America’s Past time has, well, past over time. B...
Read full storyMicrosoft Pay Out
After receiving an unsolicited Mail, Midlands Solicitor Claire McGinty has received a cheque from Microsoft for over One Billion Dollars.
Read full storyBush Declares, "Happy Days Are Here Again"
Corporate Cronies and Billionaires Celebrate Four More Years...
Read full storyPorter Goss's CIA: Some Growing Pains
The newly revamped and re-staffed Central Intelligence Agency under President George W. Bush's new Chief Porter Goss has begun to release some of it's latest findings. Among some of the more ominous predictions made by the spy agency are: Adolph Hitl...
Read full storyPoodle Brothers in diplomatic quandry
Washington DC, Friday (Rioters) - President George W Bush and his canine sibling Tony Blair were locked in frantic secret discussions at the Oval Office today following the leaking of news that the US has forfeited ownership of its London ambassado...
Read full storySharp rise in DUI arrests among US troops in Fallujah Iraq
WASHINGTON - During a special White House press conference before his resignation became final, U.S. Attorney General John Ashcroft last week announced record arrest figures of American troops and Iraq insurgents in Fallujah for instances of D...
Read full storyMinnesota to Recount Lakes
In a recent move to dispel rumors that the state of Minnesota actually counted mud puddles in their original slogan "Land of 10,000 Lakes" they have hired a group of scientist who had just finished a tour in the Antarctic. Melvin Swensen an...
Read full storyBlunkett demands visa inquiry
Current home secretary David Blunkett has demanded a full investigation into claims that he naughtily helped his ex-lover's former nanny obtain a visa.
Read full storyUK Government Bans Ageing
The Government of the United Kingdom has officially passed a bill to ban ageing of U.K. citizens. This follows an extensive study, (conducted by eminent scientists and endorsed today by the treasury) into what they described as the greatest cause of...
Read full storyGeorge W. Bush Made Me a Fundamentalist Christian
Well, the elections are over and I've been thinking: 51% of the voting public must be onto something that I've been missing. All this time I'm thinking that illegal and unnecessary wars, negative job growth, tens of millions without health insurance...
Read full storySecretary Of Education, Rod Paige, Found Out!
Secretary of Education, Rod Paige, Finally to Pursue Degree...
Read full storyBlair Basks in Bush's Glory
England's Prime Minister Tony Blair is hoping his trip to America will see some of President George W Bush's glittering election stardust falling on to him.
Read full storyAshcroft Resigns Over Alleged Racial Remark
Attorney General John Ashcroft has resigned from the President's Cabinet Tuesday amid whirling controversy surrounding his alleged use of the name "Kunta Kinte" to address Secretary of State Colin Powell.
Read full storyThis Year's Oscar Won By Customer Service Rep at American Managed Care Company
Los AngelesCA--In a stunning departure from the usual Oscar awards, the Academy has -- for the first time in its long history -- awarded its coveted "Oscar" award not to a major actress but to a low-level customer service representative at...
Read full storyGovernment to Ban Voting in Public Places
Following government restrictions on unhealthy foods and the imminent ban on smoking, a bill has been tabled in Parliament today to outlaw the practice of voting in public places.
Read full storyHalloween shocker for stuffy Starkey
BRITISH historian and broadcaster David Starkey yesterday called for a ban on Halloween japes after a troop of young "guisers" targeted him during a weekend break in Fife.
Read full storyNHS provides Noel Edmonds with work
Following the shocking news of how the NHS found a patient work as a chip shop person last week, it has been revealed that the NHS has also given a former TV entertainer permission to gate crash a party. Holding a bunch of 7-inch records Noel Edmund...
Read full storyJohnny Vegas Is Scared of Tomatoes
Stand up comic and former Pizza boy Johnny Vegas admits he has a fear of tomatoes. It was recently revealed when his old friend Paul Herman bought a round of Bloody Marys after a successful Stand Up tour of Britain. Paul told us "It was ironic, I'v...
Read full storyRumsfeld to expand Cabinet, expand Cabinet
Washington D.C.- Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld held a special news conference today to speak his feelings and the role his cabinet will play in the new Bush Administration.
Read full storyDisheartened Pequot Teachers Stage "Drunk-Out"
Classes to continue despite suspension of entire faculty...
Read full storyKerry in Geometric Center of Republican's Way
Since the overwhelming Republican Victory in this past election, Republican Senators are finding a firm resistance exhibited by John Kerry and his fellow Democrats. What the Republicans had thought would be smooth, unilateral sailing, has actually b...
Read full storyTogo Joins Axis of Evil as Tampon Shortage Bites
Anxious to get his anti-war show rolling, President George Bush has declared the tiny West African State of Togo as the newest member of the axis of evil that includes among others Iran, North Korea, Germany, France and the State of Massachusetts.
Read full storyFalluja Rotarians Cancel Annual Dance
Falluja Rotary Club is furious over the imposition of emergency rule which has effectively scuppered its annual New Year dance.
Read full storyCheney Released From Hospital Following Breathing Problems
Vice president Dick Cheney was last night given the all clear following an emergency dash to hospital, having suffered what the Whitehouse have labelled a, "breath impermanence incident."...
Read full storyTop Officials at Managed Care Company Suffer Attack of Conscience-itis
Paris, France--Top officials of an American managed care organization suffered an attack of acute conscience-itis while meeting here to discuss way to further delay payment to providers and subscribers. They were rushed for free to a Paris hospital w...
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