Written by Michael Anglin

Monday, 29 November 2004

image for Martha is in the spotlight in prison
Maw-tha relaxes in her newly refurbished prison cell

Martha Stewart has done it again, turned adversity into something good. Serving five months of prison for someone in her status would most likely make most of us hermits . Now in the beginning of confinement. Martha who now wants to be known as Maw-tha has turned even the worst dining facilities with the worst food into an almost chic restaurant type service. Maw-tha has managed to get the tables to be painted in the most elegant colors one could imagine. she has convinced the prison cooking staff that the food can be delicious by taking their time to prepare each meal. Maw-tha has turned the Prison House into the Fab Palace. Prison cells are now indivually painted multiple colors. The bathrooms now sport flowered walls in pinks and blues.
Where ever Maw-tha goes in the confines of the prison walls she shows them how to make drab become elegance. Prisoners are no longer discontent and unruly. The colorful interior has brought harmony among the minimum security detainees.
Maw-tha has shown prison official how to make the detention cell a place where a girl wants to go to contemplate her lifestyle.
Women wait patiently for her to arrive for lunch so they can get advice on how to redecorate their work places and the dreaded cell.
No longer is a woman waiting to get out of her confinement but she is enjoying her stay. The change of colors, food and yes even the prison uniforms. The uniforms now sport lace and tinges of pastels. One inmate said she was trying to find a way out, but now that Maw-tha has added her touch she no longer wants to leave. She even has found that being nice gets her good results.
Prison official and guards were at first skeptical of what Maw-tha wanted to do but have acquiesed that the demeanor of the prisoners has been reduced and guards are no longer stressed. One guard said that shiv's and other homemade killing devices have been found in stacks. Even the most radical woman is now feeling better about herself.. Maybe Maw-tha has found a new line for her company when she is released. Maw-tha walks around looking pleased at her work. "To think another avenue opened for me when I was sent here. I beleive that this was meant to be and so I am taking advantage of the situation. These poor women all locked up and nothing to make them happy. I've changed it for them and for the better."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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