Written by snoz bunsen

Sunday, 14 November 2004

image for Cheney Released From Hospital Following Breathing Problems
"Some Of The Puddles Are This Deep." Cheney Yesterday

Vice president Dick Cheney was last night given the all clear following an emergency dash to hospital, having suffered what the Whitehouse have labelled a, "breath impermanence incident."
While Vice president Cheney was recovering at one of his homes this morning a Whitehouse press conference were told, "Vice President Cheney was extremely touched by the concern shown by an adoring public, although he would like to make it clear that he is fighting fit and ready to return to work tomorrow." The statement read, "This is one Dick that does not fancy the idea of pulling out of the Bush," adding, "administration."

Rumours were rife in Washington that Mr. Cheney's breath concision circumstance was brought on by a breath - hot air imbalance although some sources suggested that recent tv reports concerning the strike on Fallujah had in fact caused the incident. A spokesman for Cheney said, "The Vice President was watching Fox news the other evening and was horrified to see images of children within that city drinking water from depleted uranium and gunpowder laden puddles on the road. As pictures of the subsequent ‘benevolence big trouble' (terms such as 'humanitarian' crisis and 'Spain', are no longer recognised by this administration) filled the room, Mr. Cheney became very animated as it dawned on him that he personally could help those wretched souls in their plight. In fact, he became so excited he began to hyperventilate and before you could say 'pretzel', had passed out."

Mr. Cheney's spokesman explained that the biggest threat to civilians in Fallujah at the moment is the lack of running water and dehydration is becoming a major problem. As the only water available is within puddles on the ground, thirst ravaged innocents are drinking the highly toxic contents from therein. The spokesman stated, "Mr. Cheney realised that if the roads were resurfaced there would be no holes and therefore no puddles for kids to drink from. Think of the lives such hole filling action would save." A spokesman for Haliburton coincidentally announced this morning that they had won a road-resurfacing contract in Fallujah.

In what was a rousing statement, Cheney's spokesman also said, "Mr. Cheney will bounce back very soon. Not only is he strong but Dick Cheney is a big man, a man big enough to carry on. In fact, I imagine future generations may well look back on him as one of the biggest Dicks in history."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more