Bishop's Ping pongs over noxious
"Enough of these racial slurs!" cries affronted bishop.
Read full storyNo Mix-up, Goldberg Oscar Tries to Return Itself
Bel Air, California - Although initially reported to be due to a UPS shipping mishap, eyewitness testimony claim that actress Whoopi Goldberg's Oscar simply tried to escape in order to rejoin the trophy's "real" winner, Annette Benn...
Read full storyBill and Ben Star Signs Sex Offender's Register
The entertainment world was today in uproar amid claims that Bill Flobalob, one half of the seventies incomprehensible children's duo Bill and Ben, had been forced to sign the sex offender's register.
Read full storyFive Lost In Arkansas Blizzard
Almost half an inch of snow fell on Little Root, Arkansas this week. This unseasonable storm resulted in severe hardship in the area and has baffled meteorologists and banjo players alike.
Read full storyPeter Pan found Dead!
Shock waves went through fairy tale land yesterday when Peter Pan was found dead outside his home in Neverland. The former childhood hero, who had been deep into financial bankruptcy since he sold the rights of his life story to Disney in 1953, wa...
Read full storyGalaxy Hopping Aliens need your used chewing
The two leading charities dedicated to supporting our alien communities launched a desperate appeal, yesterday, for used chewing gum.
Read full storyPrince Harry's Royal Shame
Shocking news this weekend from our Royals: Harry has turned into some kind of yoof thug. His drunken, stoned, sickening antics resembled those of a Premiership footballer. Harry should remember that he is a member of the Royal Family, and should...
Read full storyWill Young enters chart at 34
Will Young, the slightly effeminate winner of ITV's Pop Idol, has only managed to enter the chart at a lowly position 34. The singer, aged only 12 years old, released the double A-side record Evergreen/Anything Is Possible on Monday, but since on...
Read full storyDairy Queen Fire Suspicious
Big Spring, TX- The residents of this quiet west Texas town woke up to the most disturbing news to hit the town since Mayor Stiehl's public indecency scandal of two years ago.
Read full storyPoliticians Fall Foul of Time Dilation
Basingstoke scientists today revealed that clocks in the vicinity of talking politicians work slower than those near normal people. "It's a quirk of Einstein's theory of relativity," said Dr Ruth Rutherford, head of clocks and social politics at B...
Read full storyOlympic Hero in Overdose Worry
Beloved British olympic boxer Audley Harrison has been hospitalised today. Harrison was found in his hotel room early today, reportedly having taken of an overdose of popular energy drink Lucozade sport.
Read full storyMurder Legalised on Wednesdays
In a radical new move to combat the well-known crime of murder, Tony Blair has legalised murder on Wednesdays.
Read full storyFears Worsen In Coastal Train Horror!
Children are now out for an even scarier ride on the new improved ghost train attraction at Bogsea pleasure beach. Phase one of the major alteration plan is now complete. "We've had a massive refit costing hundreds of pounds," said White Knu...
Read full storyMr. T Returns to TV
The 80s are making a comeback - and so is Mr. T, the gold-chain-wearing, mohawk-sporting tough guy from the 80s TV show, The A-Team. Though the 80s star has been appearing in more and more commercials recently, he's decided that he's once again read...
Read full storyEuro Chaos for Britain!
The Euro has been adopted amongst chaos by the twelve so-called nations on the continent. Now, there is a despicable push for Britain to adopt the currency! It's hard to believe the audacity of these jumped up little Hitlers and their European, an...
Read full storyEmail mispellings "to be made easeri"
Computer company Microsoft are to launch new software next month which they say will be "essentlai" for anybody sending emails.
Read full storyDavid Letterman kills Humpty Dumpty
New evidence has been uncovered in the death of Humpty Dumpty.Nursery Rhyme has it that Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall and Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
Read full storyRod Hull is Alive!
Former British children's presenter Rod Hull, presumed dead after his tragic death in 1998 is alive and well according to a patient at Camarthen Asylum.
Read full storyDog Once Again Unsuccessful in Mating
After a number of recent attempts, Lyle and Cindy Bennet's Yorkie, Rocky, continues to fail in his attempts to mate with a human arm.
Read full storySpokespuppet commits suicide
A spokespuppet for a famous petstore committed suicide last night. The owner of a Chinese laundromat found him inside a washing machine. "He told me he wanted to wash up. I said ok. He was very smelly. No bath in days I guess." Authorities fo...
Read full storyFootball Managers Take Heart
An extension to the recent studies of the effect of football matches upon heart rate and blood pressure of leading football managers has produced some surprising results.
Read full storyAntichrist of the Opera?
In a move that will shock fans and foes alike, the shock rocker Marilyn Manson is to star as the leading role in Andrew Lloyd Webber's popular musical 'The Phantom of the Opera' it was confirmed yesterday at a press conference in London. Manson (R...
Read full story"Tux" branches out
In a surprising move, the linux mascot tux has announced today that he will be pursuing a career in the porn industry.
Read full storyHear'Say pick of the pops
Prince Charles shocked the establishment when he announced that he was the new member of the popular boy/girl band, Hear'say "I'm sick to death of people putting me down" moaned the apprentice king.
Read full storyBatman Apologizes
Rumors of impropriety swirling around Batman were at last addressed by him in a bold radio speech delivered last evening over Gotham City airwaves. What follows is a complete transcript of his remarks: "Good evening." "Earlier today, in Go...
Read full storyGlamour Girl Natalie Gets Tits Out For Lads!
Derek and Jill Lad were at their wits end after neighbours complained to the local authorities about the foul stench coming from the back of their house. "We just couldn't figure it out," said Derek, "the smell was absolutely appalling!" Derek,...
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