"Tux" branches out

Funny story written by David Swinstead

Monday, 11 February 2002

image for "Tux" branches out
Porn-Star Penguin?

In a surprising move, the linux mascot tux has announced today that he will be pursuing a career in the porn industry.

The announcement came amid rumours that the tubby penguin has been getting into shape, and has had a private gym built at his multi-million-dollar Mansion.

Tux told press: "For some time now I have been unhappy in my current position as the Linux mascot. I have dreamed of moving on to bigger and better things, and now this day has come for me.

"I know I have my fans that will say I am letting them down, that I have a duty to Linux, and I can only hope that in time these people will come to support me in my decision, for it is mine to make, and not theirs. My resignation from Linux takes effect immediately."

It is thought that Tux has already been approached by executives from Vivid video, one of the biggest adult film producers, with offers to star in several of their newest upcoming movies.

The search for a replacement has already begun, and possible replacements include Roland The Rat (once he's out of rehab), Santa Claus (when he gets out of jail after being given a six month sentence for assault on an elf) and Rolf Harris (on the condition that he shaves off that awful beard).

In the meantime Linux artist's have created a small, talking, dancing clock, called "Tix" with a smaller talking watch called "Tox" to be used until a new mascot can be found.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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