Embarrassed Boxer Ricky Hatton has turned to a desperate excuse following his Las Vegas loss to Manny Pacquiao. The Mancunian known as the "Hitman" described how he has recent problems with the chronic sleep disorder narcolepsy, which caused him t...
In a move that has shaken the US political system, President Barack Obama has announced this morning that he has become a Republican. In a press conference this morning, the President described the reasoning for his shock decision. "I always prom...
British eccentric Lord Michael St-Daniels, famous for having spent a number of years tirelessly disproving famous clichés, has taken another phrase down today as it was announced that he has succeeded in teaching an old dog a new trick. Specifical...
The new Poet Laureate has been announced by the Queen this morning, following the standing down of Andrew Motion. However the predicted successor Carol Ann Duffy was left speechless (and indeed Rhyme-less) when it was announced that the actual new...
League One football club, and high street purveyor of discount items has announced that it is to go into Administration today. The club, which is most famous for its Pick 'N' Mix brand has suffered in the recession as shoppers have abandoned the h...
It has been announced today that 2 new TV shows, based around sufferers of Swine Flu will be launched in June. "Come Swine with me" will see 6 selected members of the public, all suffering from the disease, taking turns to cook a 3 course meal fro...
The latest news from the House of Commons is that Members of Parliament have approved the new proposed expense measures by a narrow margin. The revised process will restrict the amounts that MPs are able to claim and are designed to ensure a great...
Gordon Brown's authority in the House of Commons is hanging by a thread today following the defeat of his proposal to blast Ghurkha war veterans into space. The highly controversial plan saw Nick Clegg and David Cameron join forces in order to def...
Following an expected announcement due in May that Citigroup's banking division Citibank are operating with insufficient levels of financial capital, the CEO, Vikram Pandeet ordered the bank to begin its emergency, and to this point, secret "capital"...
A spokesman for Simon Cowell's organisation has admitted that Susan Boyle, worldwide phenomenon is in fact a man. The spokesman was responding to increasing levels of rumour to Boyle's gender following a letter to a daily newspaper by Enid Johnso...
The "chatter" amongst conspiracy theorists through the internet has quadrupled in activity in the last 24 hours as the fact that "Swine Flu", the disease crippling mankind, is an anagram of "Fuel Wins", leading the theorists to the only sensible conc...
A despondent Sir Alex Ferguson claims to have lost all motivation and interest in his job as manager of Manchester United, the world's most valuable sport club. In an open and frank interview with Sir David Frost, Sir Alex admitted that he had rec...
Simon Cowell is apparently furious today that the new craze sweeping the world - the lethal Swine Flu, is out-googling both Susan Boyle and Shaheen Jafargholi combined. Rumours suggest that Cowell who had intended the current series of Britain's G...
Hunter "100" Cent, the 100 year old man from Brooklyn, New York has set a number of new records today as he married his 100th wife. Cent, 100 years old, famous in part for owning 100 buildings in Brooklyn, married his new bride Jacqueline Fuentes,...
Mi6, the UK's external intelligence agency have revealed today that the epidemic of "Swine Flu" which has gripped the world, was part of a man made effort to bring the world to its knees. A spokesman for the agency described how the initial belief...
Stephen Hendry has hit a fantastic run of today in the Snooker World Championship as he shocked the snooker world by pocketing a record break of 195. Hendry, 40, who of course has won the annual tournament already 38 times, produced a stunning fra...
The world was shocked today at the announcement that the torture method of "water boarding" would indeed become an event for the 2012 games. In what is being suggested is an administrative error, the announcement came following a number of campaig...
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