Written by Collins_and_Dutton

Tuesday, 28 April 2009

image for Citigroup to sell staplers to raise financial capital levels

Following an expected announcement due in May that Citigroup's banking division Citibank are operating with insufficient levels of financial capital, the CEO, Vikram Pandeet ordered the bank to begin its emergency, and to this point, secret "capital" plan.

Citibank87 has now been created as a seller on Ebay, the popular auction site and the items listed have already hit the 10,000 mark.

Amongst the items for sale are staff member's staplers, pens, chairs and even personal photographs of family and friends.

"There are no sacred cows as far as we are concerned" a spokesman said. "We have always said that we are too big to fail, and what we meant by that is that we have a significant level of stationery ready for sale should we need to. Its clear that's what we need to do"

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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