In a radical move today, the UK Government announced the appointment of Mr. Miyagi, the quiet and eccentric apartment handyman from the "Karate Kid" film as special adviser on the UK's departure from the EU. Mr. Miyagi will be introducing his theo...
The Digital, Culture, Media and Sport committee have said that the Brexit Party will have to return any money it can’t account for, forcing Brexiteers to once again become “up in arms”. It’s been quite tiring for Brexiteers as they are forced to be o...
In what is being seen as a last-ditch attempt to usurp democracy, and deny the voting public its victory at the polls, the government has ordered TV reruns of the 1990s show 'Eurotrash', in a bid to change people's minds about Europe. Hosted by th...
Inital Impressions Good to drive, and seems fairly reliable. First impressions are good but quickly fade due to overbearing cruise control that steps in when you least need it. Controls are simple, as everything is remote-controlled from a shady o...
The Tory Leadership stakes have risen dramatically in the last 24 hours, with more and more candidates confessing to past illegal drug-use, writes Archery, Bridge, Hare-Jugging, Real Tennis, Topological Homeomorphism and Political Correspondent, Clai...
London, UK - (Snorting Mess): Conservatives must appoint a new Narcotic Business Secretary following the collapse of the government’s flagshit Brexit New Deal Strategy which left ministers exposed as a bunch of crack-peddling tossers in hock to Donal...
There were whoops of joy from the membership of the "Conservative & Unionist" party (male and white, average age 57) today as Transport Secretary Chris Grayling threw his hat into the ever-expanding ring. "He's just what we need to open up the...
Residents of the tiny Wiltshire village of Nether Regus are this morning placing their MEP votes at an emergency polling station set up in the local public toilets. Their usual polling venue is in the 1st Nether Scout hut which, unfortunately, bur...
Nigel Farage, the British politician and 'voice of the man in the street', has had to resort to calling pest control officers to his home in Single Street, after a pest infestation on a Biblical scale. Farage, the leader of the Brexit Party, and f...
Donald Trump today held a special Rose Garden briefing to discuss Theresa May's recent resignation from the Prime Ministership at #10 Downing Street. Mr Trump showed up at the podium and displayed his general ignorance of British politics and, indeed...
After nearly three years of hedging, wrangling, delaying tactics, and with less than five minutes to go before B-day, the government is looking for a new way to make decisions over things like Brexit. There have been countless disagreements during...
Boston is a small port in Lincolnshire, on the east coast of England. The Borough of Boston has a population of approximately 70,000 people and prides itself on being the most pro-Brexit constituency in the United Kingdom with 75.6% (22,974 votes) of...
The ex-deputy prime minister and Conservative peer Lord Heseltine has said he would not back the Tories in this week's European election because of the "Conservative & Unionist" party's pro-Brexit stance. The errant lord has defended his decisio...
Eight-times failed MP and part-time political figure Nigel Farage has revealed an unusual dietary habit: he eats at least one whole vole every day. He began the habit while spending time in Strasbourg as a member of the European Parliament, where...
While many are predicting doom and gloom after Britain leaves the EU, at least one industry is hoping that it will thrive in the new order. Cummerbunds are worn by everyone from waiters to butlers, to people who have to hire one for a formal event. T...
"Clever, don't you think?", explained Boris as he announced the launch of a 'new town' to be built after the UK has finally wrenched itself from the claws of Brussels. "We thought about calling it Lying-in-wait. Get it? But that seemed somewhat feebl...
Brexiteers were up in arms today after a grenade was donated to a charity shop in Norfolk causing minimal disruption. Upon discovering the “suspicious device” staff called the police who closed down local shops before making bringing in specialist un...
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