Funny Money

Written by Backandtotheleft

Wednesday, 19 June 2019

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My Brexit is ruined

The Digital, Culture, Media and Sport committee have said that the Brexit Party will have to return any money it can’t account for, forcing Brexiteers to once again become “up in arms”. It’s been quite tiring for Brexiteers as they are forced to be outraged by so much these days, traitors to the Brexit faith, having to serve black people in their pubs and the evil left are just a few of the things winding up these salt of the earth people.

Nigel Farage has declared the ruling a “witch hunt” and launched into a furious tirade at the committee saying:

"This is outrageous. To think, I, the Grand wizard of Brexit would do anything even slightly dishonest. The Brexit Party are at war for the very soul of Britain and we have much more important things to do than look at where every single penny comes from."

Farage, sipping from six different pints, was apparently so flabbergasted at the suggestion of impropriety, he had to cancel several speaking engagements and “burn some very sensitive paperwork”.

He went on to say:

"Every day, I fight an ongoing battle to unseat these unelected, faceless EU fatcats from their perches, and it’s hard. I mean, I had to compete in an EU election, to get elected to go directly to Europe to attack these other unelected charlatans. I am hounded at home over the subject of a few measly pennies, that may or may not have come from far right groups all across Europe. Let me tell you if the same money had been donated by so-called far right groups and used to build the landing craft for D-Day, would you be making such a fuss? I thought not."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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