Washington, DC The hearings to confirm Supreme Court nominee Sonia Sotomayor have become so long, overwrought and boring that many cable subsscribers have decided to cancel their subscriptions and throw away their televisions. A Neilson poll showe...
London, UK - With the release of video of Michael Jackson's hair catching fire during a 1984 Pepsi commercial, several hundred fans have gathered at London's O2 arena to participate in a vigil and light each other's hair on fire. Said one particip...
Hamburg, Germany - Actor, environmental activist and ski resort developer, Robert Redford, 71, has married his longtime girlfriend, Sibylle Szaggars, 51, in a private ceremony at the St. Catherine Church in Hamburg, Germany. Although the actor's...
Los Angeles, CA - In a stunning announcement, on the anniversary of inventor Nikola Tesla's birth, President Barack Obama has suggested he will scrap the american military establishment in favour of going ahead with the Nikola Tesla Death Ray. The Wh...
Malibu - Initial reports that Prince William Arthur Philip Louis, son of Prince Charles, Prince of Wales and the late Lady Diana, Princess of Wales, second in line to the British throne, is house hunting in the fashionable California coastal town of...
Washington, DC - Michael Jackson's ghost took a whack at Obama and ended up hitting his teleprompter. This is the claim of unauthorized biographer, Ian Heparin, who today released a book detailing Jackson's sordid past. Mr. Heparin claims that a lot...
Los Angeles, CA - A medical emergency was declared on an Aeroflot plane last month. On June 13th Flight SU-321, from Moscow Sheremetyevo (Russia) to Los Angeles , was given priority landing as a result of a female passenger, Svetlana Starlight, 45,...
Los Angeles, CA - Los Angeles mayor, Antonio Villaraigosa, has enacted a moratorium prohibiting any celebrity from dying inside city boundaries for the next month. In a statement released this afternoon, Mayor Villaraigosa aknowledged that the morato...
Long Island, NY - Upon hearing the news that Paris Jackson is going to record a song commemorating her late father, Michael Jackson, Congressman Peter King was heard saying, "Stop The Insanity!" "The man/boy isn't even buried yet and this family w...
San Francisco, CA - Michael Jackson's coffin was pulled over early this morning in the Castro area of San Francisco. Detective Harry Callaghan, who normally operates out of the homicide division, had been off duty when he noticed the coffin driving e...
Pernambuco, Brazil - Arturo "Thunder" Gatti has been found dead on his honeymoon no less. Mr. Gatti was renting a beach side unit at Hotel Dorisol of Porto de Galinhas. The Dorisol Porta De Galinhas Resort boasts a convenient location with modern...
El Paso, TX - Giant killer snakes that can easily swallow livestock whole have been booking tickets on Greyhound buses and heading for Florida says Senator Bill Nelson to a congressional panel. "We gotta stop this before somebody gets et (sic)," t...
Ottawa, CA - Crystal Defanti, who first gained fame as a teacher who distributed her sex DVD to her students, scored a tremendous cultural and epicurean success in Canada at the 7th Annual International Culinary Competition with her recipe 'Splayed B...
Accra, Ghana - After the incessant press surrounding the death of Michael Jackson, and being constantly reminded that some black people in America have a tendency to turn white after awhile, the Obama's touched down in the capital city of Ghana and w...
Aquila, Italy - A 16 year old Brazilian girl, Mayora Tavares, has caused a 'scandalo sensazionale' by catching the roving eye of the most powerful man in the world, Barack Obama. The perky breasted, fulsome bottomed femme fatale had been looking for...
Los Angeles, CA - The estate of Michael Jackson on behalf of the late entertainer, Michael Jackson, 'The King Of Pop', has filed a lawsuit against the City of Los Angeles for wrongful death. The suit is believed to be for approximately $3 billion and...
Oxford, Oxfordshire, UK - Today the Oxford debating society is examining the question 'Is Rev Al A Racist Or Just A Poor Deluded Soul Who Thinks He Can Pull A Fast One Over On Whitey'. Representing the position that 'Rev Al Is A Racist' is Nigel...
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