Washington, DC - Michael Jackson's ghost took a whack at Obama and ended up hitting his teleprompter. This is the claim of unauthorized biographer, Ian Heparin, who today released a book detailing Jackson's sordid past. Mr. Heparin claims that a lot of Michael's destructive behavior came after America started focusing their attention on Senator Obama.
Said Mr. Heparin, "Michael was livid. Obama is a black man who rises to the peak of popularity within American culture; a man who garners the respect of the establishment. And what had Michael become. A twelve year-old in a white woman's body."
When Senator Obama announced his run for the Presidency, Michael's psyche was crushed.
Said Heparin, "It was about this time that Michael got more and more involved in drugs as well as picking up gay lovers and cross-dressing."
Perhaps the most shocking revelation in the biography details when Michael hit bottom. According to Heparin, when Obama won the democratic nomination in St. Paul, Minnesota, Michael was busy entertaining gay men in a seedy motel in Las Vegas while pretending to be a white female librarian from Iowa named Marian.
"It's astonishing really. Here was Obama encapsulating the ascension of the Black Man to the most powerful position in the world and meanwhile we have Michael Jackson channeling Shirley Jones from the movie 'The Music Man.'"