Malibu - Initial reports that Prince William Arthur Philip Louis, son of Prince Charles, Prince of Wales and the late Lady Diana, Princess of Wales, second in line to the British throne, is house hunting in the fashionable California coastal town of Malibu have turned out to be false. Prince William is, however, seriously considering dropping out of society to join a commune there.
His father's press office has stated, off the record, that "...the silly little bugger seems to have taken to heart a lot of his father Charles' stupid advice about living within our ecological means, not creating an undesireable carbon footprint and what-have-you so he's decided to simply drop out of society and join one of those hippie communes in California. If only it were that easy. Doesn't the little blighter realize how many of us are going to lose our jobs?"
One longtime local, Harvey Goldberg, mused "Hippie culture in Malibu was especially strong during the late 1960's and early 1970's, the 'peace and love' era when out-of-work young people, surfing bums, and wealthy liberal recording and film industry types used to socially comingle amidst breathtaking beachfront scenery. Now, however, the rich are so rich that they can't afford to exercise their liberal views for fear of getting mugged. I myself was part of the commune scene but I could see all this coming. So I started a lawncare and pool maintenance business and, 40 years later and 800 franchises, I own a Lear jet, a Malibu crib and a mansion in the hills, which is exactly where Prince William should be running if he thinks twice about what he's getting in to."
For his part, grandfather Prince Philip stated, "...anywhere close to that Adam Lamburger fellow is too close in my opinion. Besides, who will I have to run my webcam if he leaves?"