England surged to a 6-1 victory against Panama today in the most surprising and uplifting match so far in the World Cup. Harry Kane was so successful at scoring goals during the match that he actually scored a goal withour realising it and had to...
Disgraced TV presenter John Leslie raced from court today in a morning suit, giving the finger to waiting reporters and vultures alike as he jumped into a waiting taxi. With minutes to spare he arrived at an Aberdeen Castle to greet members of the...
Hugely popular little person Warwick Davies who has starred in Willow and Countdown during his glittering career has revealed that he will be taking over from Peter Dinkylage in Game of Thrones for the final season. Warwick has announced that whil...
Warwick Davies has confessed that he absolutely loves the Lake District and was delighted to have the chance to enjoy it with adventurer Bear Grylls. Bear Grylls, however, took a different view. "Not that bl**dy dwarf", he is rumoured to have said...
Supporters of Dr Jane Barton, who was not prosecuted for overdosing 92 patients, have demanded that her case is revised following new evidence that it was actually more like 500 patients with a further 200 that can't be proved. The doctor's follow...
The Met Office has confirmed that pollen levels are currently the highest since records began. Recommending a state of emergency, they revealed that in some low lying areas people are struggling to get outdoors through a viscous fog of pollen and...
Darwinism strikes again as three graffiti artists have been hit by a freight train in Brixton. British Transport Police are treating the deaths as "unexplained" but a worker filling in an accident form at the scene was found to have filled in the...
Two warring factions in Turkey have both decided to use the brutal maiming of a helpless puppy to further their political agendas during the forthcoming elections. The tiny helpless pup with huge sad eyes practically handed itself to spindoctors o...
In an unusual move Buckingham Palace has banned the UK from adding Prince Philip to any dead pools around the country. Following his recent appearance at the Royal Wedding of Harry and Meghan, where he looked like he needed a decent taxidermist ra...
The Glasgow art school has burnt to the ground again just as the World Cup starts in Russia 2018 and some conspiracy theorists are saying that it can't be a coincidence that the last time it burned down was in 2014 during the Brazilian World Cup.
In a groundbreaking ruling a government body has agreed that in rare cases epileptics can receive treatment for epilepsy with cannabis oil. We found epileptics rejoicing on the streets of London at the new ruling following The Home Office u-turn.
Following its recent exposure in every National newspaper and magazine in Britian, including "Tractor Engines Today" and "Know Your Radish", the hairy chest of Aiden Turner has announced that it will be going it alone in future. The buff half-tors...
A British lady has been viciously attacked in her own garden by biting ants, leaving her in a state of great undress. Librarian Catherine Catlow had decided to plant some trailling sweet peas along a border when she found herself perched precariou...
President Donald Trump has been diverted to the UK for talks with North Korean Leader Kim Jung Un. In a spectacular gaffe, his aide, who hails from Skipton in Yorkshire in the United Kingdom of Great Brtain had mistakenly booked the historical pea...
Renowned Lothario Peter Stringfellow has died after having his penis severed by an intruder to the Playboy mansion in the early hours of this morning. The intruder claims he wandered in whilst "looking for a toilet" and mistook the ageing self-pr...
Following on from Vegetarian and Vegan, fussy Britons are turning to an even more economical way of eating healthily called Gardenetarian. The trend consists of eating anything you can find in yours and your neighbours gardens. Mr Michael Hunt...
A man who spent 9 months completing a model of the Grenfell Tower in a tribute to its victims is said to be devastated after it was destroyed whilst being displayed in a London Art Studio. The Tower Tribute, which stood at 2ft 4" high was painsta...
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