Epileptics to Get Cannabis on NHS

Written by carina-eta

Saturday, 16 June 2018

image for Epileptics to Get Cannabis on NHS
I'm not smoking mate, these are my prescription meds.

In a groundbreaking ruling a government body has agreed that in rare cases epileptics can receive treatment for epilepsy with cannabis oil.

We found epileptics rejoicing on the streets of London at the new ruling following The Home Office u-turn. Banjo Tenhats, who was cartwheeling past Nelsons Column singing the National Anthem, commented, "Man, its about time, my epilepsy has worsened considerably over the last few weeks, I was straight down the A&E as soon as the ruling was announced, now I'm fit enough to cartwheel."

Not everyone, however, is happy with the speed at which the change is taking place, Don McDooby or "Scrap" as he is known to his friends stated, "I was hoping I could just pick up the cannabis oil along with my Methodone and needles, but I have to have 2 prescriptions and make 2 trips, I'm pretty hacked off with that, I can't be arsed to take the bus twice in one week."

We also spotted two men clearing out a nearby flat full of cannabis plants into a skip. We attempted to interview them but they told us to leave in no uncertain terms. One later told us "Thanks a ****** lot Home Office, you *******s, thats another family on the *********dole."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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