Written by carina-eta

Tuesday, 5 June 2018

image for Vegan, Vegetarian and Now Gardenetarian
A little Golden Wonder snack

Following on from Vegetarian and Vegan, fussy Britons are turning to an even more economical way of eating healthily called Gardenetarian.

The trend consists of eating anything you can find in yours and your neighbours gardens.

Mr Michael Hunt, a forerunner in the new eating style, commented," It started in the 60's when you'd go round to your soft neighbours and pretend that your mam was in bed with "Uncle Fred" and hadn't left you any tea, so they'd give you a couple of biscuits or a piece of bread and jam and tell you to sod off."

From these humble beginnings Gardenetarianism was born. "Basically", says Mr Hunt, "you scrounge whatever you can, vegetables, grass, flowers, scrap metal, usually at night, while they're asleep and it doesn't cost you a bloody penny, its all just lying there free! I've saved a fortune, lost weight, I've never felt fitter."

He also noted that " it's difficult in the Winter but that woman at number 35 leaves a proper good spread on her birdtable."

So far Mr Hunt has scored several beef joints, a gammon steak, barbecue food, a lawnmower, 4 cordless drills, 49 loaves of bread in broken pieces, an ASBO, a conviction for breaking and entering and 3 restraining orders.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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