Written by carina-eta

Thursday, 7 June 2018


The story you are trying to access may cause offense, may be in poor taste, or may contain subject matter of a graphic nature. This story was written as a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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image for Peter Stringfellow's Severed Penis Attacks Man
Venom spots at the crime scene under ultraviolet light

Renowned Lothario Peter Stringfellow has died after having his penis severed by an intruder to the Playboy mansion in the early hours of this morning.

The intruder claims he wandered in whilst "looking for a toilet" and mistook the ageing self-proclaimed sex maniac's little man for a snake as it slithered across the floor towards him.

After cutting off Stringfellow's manhood, the head of the penis reared up and bit him several times on various parts of his body, spitting vast quantities of venom.

The intruder was treated with 47 doses of the morning after pill and was subjected to a speciality clean with shower and a french polish before officers at the scene were able to arrest him.

A Playboy mansion bunny girl (46, 24, 36) clad in a furry pink bikini with a large fake talking snake draped around her shoulders gave a statement to the press later in which she stated, "He was an old man who died of cancer, the story is bollocks, but I'm sure he'd prefer it."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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