Heavy rainfall which is affecting many parts of the UK causing flash flooding should technically be classed as monsoons, according to the British Meteorological Organization today. Due to the hot, humid weather and everlasting sun resulting from...
Scientists have recently discovered a fact about bees that has been staring us in the face for hundreds of years. Bees are, in fact, really, really thick. A report for the "Old Scientist" has stated that in tests bees have the IQ of a subnormal n...
Following the Grenfell tragedy, a new innovative tower block design has been approved unanimously by the Royal Institute of British Architects. Award winning Architect, Tim Wittering explained, "there is no void in this building through which air...
A British woman was left in spasms of ecstasy on a beach at Seaside Heights in Ocean County, New Jersey, today when a freak accident caused an umbrella to impale her. Velvet Cunningham was innocently sunbathing in a two piece bikini when the beach...
Donald Trump has successfully been debriefed by his KGB handler, Vladimir Putin. Trump entered Helsinki today and managed to pass information on to Putin via a translator. In return Putin publicly laughed off any suggestions that he might have inf...
President Donald Trump's recent whistlestop tour of World Leaders is thought to have caused an outbreak of Norovirus in at least five countries to date. The President first visited unpopular Asian dictator Kim Jong-un and it was reported that he w...
Vladimir Putin has allegedly put together a team of crack mind readers to concentrate on Croatia losing the World Cup. A recently deceased source mailed information to a News Agency concerning the assembly by the Russian President of a team of pro...
Tommy Robinson is reportedly mortified that he has actually been jailed for 13 months, a source reported today. Apparantly, Mr Robinson's understanding of his role in current society was that of an "agitant" and a "troublemaker." As such, despite...
POTUS Donald Trumps latest scheme to build a wall between the USA and Mexico has fallen flat after no one turned up. The hapless President had picked up the idea from the famous Build A Bear company, whose Pay Your Age offer was massively over sub...
Wildlife Sanctuaries across the UK are feeling the effects of the heatwave, with many more animals than usual crossing their thresholds every day. One Sanctuary ,"Debbies Donkeys" in Wales said that every morning seagulls are queueing by the door...
After weeks of blistering heat, hosepipe bans and warnings about dogs in cars, Summer has suddenly stopped. At 5pm British Summertime, the skies clouded over and "threatened rain" leading to barbeques being covered up, skimpy clothes to disappear...
Surprising new statistics have been released by the Home Office showing how you are likely to die in the UK based on the area you live and your age group. Unsurprisingly, in the male 14-19 yrs age group stabbings are the number one cause of death...
USA Potus Donald Trump has been criticized by English writer JK Rowling over his pathetic attempts at spelling and grammar. Mr Trump wrote: "After having written many best selling books, and somewhat priding myself on my ability to write, it shoul...
For those of us basking in the recent heatwave taking care with the sun cream, there are others who are not being so careful and are risking serious heatstroke. The NHS has reported a massive increase in people who believe that England have just w...
The continuing heatwave which has seen temperatures across the UK rise to same levels as other countries across the world, has brought with it an influx of complaints. Apart from the usual "it's too bloody hot" whingers, the general public is comp...
A woman was today denied an ice cream by a seriously fat vendor in an ice cream van outside a school. The woman had had a particularly long, hot, difficult day at work had just been thinking that if there was an ice cream van parked outside the sc...
In a classic twist similar to the end of the film" Inception", the England team have simultaneously won and lost a match to Belgium. By losing to the pus-filled pimple on the face of the Earth that is Belgium, England have actually won an easier r...
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