Seattle WA: Professional Soccer is now being played in this city. "The Spoof" being basically a British (don't see any French do you) publication, it is a rather delicate matter to rationally discuss Soccer verses American Football. Both Soccer and A...
Washington DC: The Foci for Science in the Pubic Interest (FSPI), known as the "hypocrite food police", has proposed that bowel movement index (BMI) be used as a basis to measure human fitness. A low BMI being good! Most people have a low BMI exce...
Peoria IL: Mandatory "End-of-Life" counseling for seniors by a state-appointed practitioner is included in House Speaker Pelosi's Health Care Reform Bill. Senior citizens will soon be receiving telephone calls from the federal government. Teleph...
To the Editor of the Los Angeles Times: The other day a nice lady on the radio said "a person could help the environment and save energy by planting an organic garden, raising their own animals and buying only local produce." I wanted to do my part so I took action. I have ripped up my lawn both front and back, to grow my own vegetables. I have additional designer vegetable pots hanging fr...
Newark, NJ: A pro-vegetarian, anti-meat advocacy group says "hot dogs are so hazardous to one's health that they should have warning labels." The organization's slogan is "Beat-the-Meat." This rabid vegan organization is suing Kraft Foods Inc (man...
Washington DC: The Huffington Post (HP) is reporting that former Vice President Al Gore is planning to run for President of the United States in 2010. He candidly let this slip while attending a political luncheon at a downtown hotel. A sharp rep...
Washington DC: President Obama has signed the Omnibus Livestock Rights Bill. This bill protects beef cattle, pigs and chickens, from undue harm until they reach your plate at the dinner table. PETA members and other animal rights groups lobbied bo...
Washington DC: Al Franken is resigning his Senate seat to play Perry Mason. The show, after a hiatus of 50 years returns to the CBS Television Network this fall. The Republican Governor of Minnesota is expected to appoint former Republican Senato...
New York NY: The Wall Street investment house of Frank, Dodd and Kennedy (FDK) LLC has announced their new financial strategy for the small investor in the next 18 months (offer expires January 4, 2011). The new strategy is called "Give yourself...
Boston MA: Government Motors Corporation (GMC), now out of bankruptcy, has authorized its remaining dealerships to begin marketing their new electric car, the Maxwell. A GMC spokesperson said "The Maxwell is a real Joule. The government's "Cash f...
Washington DC: The Obama Administration has exhausted most of the "low hanging fruit" of rich Americans to pay for the Stimulus Package, TARP, Health Care Reform and Cap and Trade programs. Prior to any new round of socialist legislation being en...
Washington DC: Republican and Democratic politicians are continually trying to cram their political messages onto car bumper stickers. Now these politicians are resorting to plagiarizing famous Hollywood movie lines to make their political statements. Senator Ted Kennedy: "Frankly my dear I don't give a damn that adding catastrophic coverage to the Health Care Reform bill will bankrupt the coun...
Washington DC: After Al Franken's Constitutional swearing in ceremony, US Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid imparted some additional rules of the road to the new Junior Senator from Minnesota. The transcript follows. Senator Franken 2009 is your P...
Washington DC: Congress has recognized July 22 as National Chicken Day, as the USA and every other culture in the world have relied on the chicken for sustenance. Yet this bird is always the butt of fowl jokes. Colonel Sanders is to host the festi...
Anywhere USA: Diogenes searched for an honest man with his lantern. This reporter, possessing a large strobe lamp, set out to shine the light on various people and say "enough political BULLSHIT, please turn off the machine." President Obama: "The unemployment rate should not exceed 8%, especially when the stimulus package gets up to speed and creates jobs." Au contraire, Mr. President methinks...
Washington DC: A two decade study of monkeys has found that reducing calories by almost a third slowed their aging and fended off death. Calorie reduction also delays the diseases of aging in primates, namely rhesus monkeys. Dr. Edward Fujimoto no...
Moscow RF: US President Barack Obama and Russian Federation (RF) Premier Vladimir Putin met here to hammer out the final high level details of a Carbon Cap and Trade Treaty called Project ICEMELT. The treaty is viewed as being mutually beneficial, cr...
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