Monday, 13 July 2009

image for USA and Russia Agree on a Cap and Trade Treaty
"Barack, it's cold outside!"

Moscow RF: US President Barack Obama and Russian Federation (RF) Premier Vladimir Putin met here to hammer out the final high level details of a Carbon Cap and Trade Treaty called Project ICEMELT. The treaty is viewed as being mutually beneficial, creating many new jobs in both nations.

The US Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) has studied the effect of greenhouse gasses on climate change in North America and its potential for causing purported global warming. The EPA concludes that the US Southwest and Mexico are hot while the US Northeast and Canada are cold. That being said, until further government studies are completed, the EPA will act cautiously by appeasing our "environmental friends" when it comes to global warming. However, the EPA feels the UN climate change consensus reports be deemed "political".

The RF equivalent of the EPA has studied the effect of greenhouse gasses on climate change in Eurasia, specifically Siberia and its potential for causing global warming. During the Siberian winter, average temperatures range from -10 degrees Fahrenheit to below -50 degrees Fahrenheit. The scientists and academics concluded that the RF suffers from global cooling. Like the US EPA the RF feels the UN climate change consensus reports be deemed "political".

The first stage of the bilateral plan calls for the USA to transfer to the RF all suspected greenhouse gas emitting facilities, animals and old automobiles that still operate. Included are belching cows, flatulent pigs, Chrysler motor cars, old coal fired power plants and identified CO2, Nitrogen gas and soot producers. This equipment will be dismantled and shipped to Norilsk Siberia and reassembled by RF resident technicians. These RF technicians will also be building suitable foundations, buildings and living facilities for all staff members.

President Obama has convinced PETA and the US environmental organizations to supervise the project by relocating to Norilsk Siberia until the project is completed. (The RF city of Norilsk, population 100,000, is the northernmost city in Siberia above the Arctic Circle. It is in a continuous permafrost zone.) These on-site experts can then determine if climate change is occurring in accordance with postulated mathematical models and the precise time frame to reach temperature equilibrium.

The second stage of the bilateral plan calls for the RF to ship huge quantities (billions and billions of tons) of Siberian ice and snow to the USA in specialized US container ships (to be jointly built) for 20 years. This frozen material will then be transported by US truckers in special trucks (to be built by GMC and Ford) to the Mohave Desert CA, Death Valley CA, Nevada, Arizona and other parts of the hot Southwest requiring downward climate change and more water. Thus, conservation of energy in the Western and Eastern hemispheres of the Earth is maintained.

The ocean transport route will be from Murmansk RF (when not iced in) located on the Barents Sea to San Diego CA located on the Pacific Ocean. President Obama has convinced PETA and the US environmental organizations to long lease their US facilities to USA and RF sailors to be used during their rest periods. Since these sites are located in Los Angeles CA, La Jolla CA and San Diego CA, close proximity to Disneyland is assured.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Russia




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