Washington DC: The Foci for Science in the Pubic Interest (FSPI), known as the "hypocrite food police", has proposed that bowel movement index (BMI) be used as a basis to measure human fitness. A low BMI being good!
Most people have a low BMI except in the morning when it peaks, but is transitory in nature. However BMI mainly among FSPI staff members is usually off the Richter scale, because they are always "so full of s**t."
FSPI wants this new fitness metric to be added as an amendment to Speaker Pelosi's Health Care Reform bill, as another means of rationing heath care. Fortunately every cloud has a silver lining, such that the folks at FSPI would be relegated to the bottom of the pile, so to speak!