Al Franken's Welcome to the US Senate Briefing Leaked

Funny story written by Philbert of Macadamia

Saturday, 18 July 2009

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"Al Franken, the Junior Senator from Minnesota."

Washington DC: After Al Franken's Constitutional swearing in ceremony, US Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid imparted some additional rules of the road to the new Junior Senator from Minnesota. The transcript follows.

Senator Franken 2009 is your Plebe year as a member of this noble chamber, where Daniel Webster once spoke eloquently great words. You on the other hand as a new Junior Senator should be seen and not heard from much. However you do constitute the 60th Democratic vote and will be known affectionately as "Mr. Filibuster Breaker" in the 111th Congress.

Senator Franken there will be no extra-marital hanky-panky, like our Republican colleagues in this body of gentlemen. You must stay away from Congressional pages and interns (male and female). No large sums of money are to be found in your freezer, like our US House of Representatives colleagues, as there are earmarks for all. Cool the blue language!

Senator Franken you must always vote the Democratic Party line and not worry about being afraid to throw money at any issue. We have Senators from Massachusetts, Connecticut and California to justify any expenditure necessary or not.

Senator Franken being an actor, a song and dance man or telling Jokes is not detrimental, but an asset to your political career. Marvel at President Ronald Reagan's success, Senator George Murphy (who danced with Shirley Temple), and Sonny Bono who served in the US House of Representatives.

Senator Franken I wish you good luck, but above all don't piss me off like Senator Roland Burris did!

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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