Siobhan O'Dowd the Number One Fan of Psychotic Murdering Gunman Raoul MOAT, has defender her actions regarding her Facebook Site today, in an interview with the "Daily Balls" She said, "Well er like Moat he was er like a decent bloke and Dad and t...
In a move that everyone was expecting; Tory Chancellor George Osborne has announced that he intends to scrap, the utterly pointless and overpaid regulator, the FSA. The FSA, or Financial Services Authority, was made notorious for utterly...
In a stunning move, that just about anyone with a shred of musical taste could have predicted, Irish Twats Jedward have been given the chop by their music label. The news comes as their one and only anal belch or "single" failed to top the UK char...
In a move that has surprised absolutely nobody, Girls Aloud "celebrity" wife Cheryl "he's like a brother to me" Cole is set to divorce her trophy husband Ashley Cole. Cole made the announcement recently, after much speculation that her husband had...
Finally the FSA sees the writing on the wall as, in a startling move, that for once showed incredible foresight and presence of mind, Pants mumbling Chief of the FSA has seen something that was as plain as the nose on his smug face and resigned. M...
An emotional Peter Andre stopped a live Bilge News TV interview after breaking down while talking about his children and celebrity whore Katie Price. Andre asked to quit the interview with Bilge's Fenella Vadge after stating her: "I'm sorry for re...
Disgraced incompetent cockmuncher Fred Goodwin who singlehandledly rogered the nation (this is all my opinion, you understand), and left the Royal Bank of Scotland more f*cked than a Canvey Island Primary School girl on a Saturday Night, has been hir...
Readers of the tabloids will be aware that Polly-thene Ass former reality pop singer and current underwear model has been cautioned by the Police for defending herself against garden invaders. Ass, or "Arnie" as her neighbours know her spoke to Ka...
After this week's welcome news that political-conscience rockers Rage Against the Machine had beaten the bastard child of Simon Cowell and Cheryl Cole to the coveted Xmas Number One spot, we can exclusively reveal that the earth's protective smug-zon...
X Factor winner and warbling Geordie foetus Joe McElderry does not deserve to be "stuck in the middle" of a fight for the Christmas number one, said Svengali and champion of the unefesibly high waist band Simon Cowell. A brilliantly conceived cam...
After tonight's not at all surprise X factor result, Scientists fear that the world is now in supreme crisis. Nasa and Nato have gone to Defcon4 and the Environment Agency have raised the Thames Flood Barrier in preparation for an onslaught of bib...
The X Factor was rocked to its foundations tonight after pre-pubescent girls' favourite Joe "Way Aye" McElderry was rushed to hospital with a mysterious suppurating growth on his cheek. McElderry, 2 and a half, went down with the mysterious afflic...
The Cycle's Electronic Entertainment Correspondent Arbuthnot Flange-Plate reports: A sudden upswing in teenage violence has led to rabid calls for the banning of violent video games. Sir Waldorf Qum-Buquet Liberal Peer for spoiling peoples' fun...
The Monthly Cycle can reveal today that Murderer Amanda Knox's defence appeal campaign will be based entirely around the fabled "Shaggy" defence. Knox, serving 26 years for brutal Murder, has polarised the world, with the did she or did she conund...
The Italian Government reacted with righteous indignation today as a war of words broke out with the USA over the Amanda Knox deviant sex murder trial. The Italian Prosecutors in the case were outraged that their decisions and the processes of the...
Rhum Baba News - The Iranian Revolutionary Guard Catering Corps Newsletter reports: Imperialist British Aggressor Sailors have been arrested off our coast, trespassing within our Special Economic Zone. Ali Kazi-Pump spokesman for the Revolution...
Little known English County Wales is in mourning tonight after warbling pre-pubescent songster Lloyd Daniels was unceremoniously booted off tonight's X Factor. Daniels, 6 months and a barely formed foetus lost out to gurning Essex Love-God Olly Mu...
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