The X Factor was rocked to its foundations tonight after pre-pubescent girls' favourite Joe "Way Aye" McElderry was rushed to hospital with a mysterious suppurating growth on his cheek.
McElderry, 2 and a half, went down with the mysterious affliction shortly after being kissed on the cheek by the nation's favourite drug addict and cottager George Michael.
Upon arriving at London's "Cheb-end" Celebrity clinic McElderry was rushed in for at least 10 minutes of complex surgery.
Dr Dave Felch-Dribbler announced tonight, "I am pleased to say that the surgery was a success the viral growth on McElderry's face has been successfully removed, we are at a loss as to how he could have contracted it though since it is a strain of knob-rot hitherto seen only on the cocks of dirty tramps on Hampstead Heath."
