In a stunning move, that just about anyone with a shred of musical taste could have predicted, Irish Twats Jedward have been given the chop by their music label.
The news comes as their one and only anal belch or "single" failed to top the UK charts.
John and Edward Grimes' debut single was a duet "Shite Shite Baby" with eighties (c)rapper Vanilla Ice.
The trio excreted a vile version of hit song Under Pressure so execrable that it left Sir Freddie Mercury spinning in his grave, and most right thinking adults reaching for drills to drive into their skulls.
The dreadful dirge failed to hit the top of the charts - and reportedly made "f*ck all" money for their record label Fony.
In today's cash-strapped music industry, a decision was made not to give the boys a second chance, instead they are to be taken out to a field by some men in white coats and balaclavas, who will distract the brain dead pair with some shiny objects on sticks before exterminating them with captive bolt guns.
Last night their manager and X Factor predator Louis Walsh confirmed the "sad sad" news but insisted: "I'm completely committed to Jedward, they still give the best massage of anyone I know, they might have lost out on music but they still have a great career ahead possibly in exotic dancing, escorting or as live targets for the Taliban."
Walsh 87 and a notorious packer of sugar based confectionery then went on to say:
"If the boys survive having steel bolts driven through their frontal lobes, then they will have a sold-out tour of Ireland to look forward to; where let's face it the most interesting thing to happen aside from indiscriminate knee-capping is watching two braind dead morons gurning their way through the throes of terminal constipation. I'm also in talks with a major record label about a new deal for them, we've already had nibbles from Shite Records, Pile Discs and the perennial favourites Pickwick."
