Wales in Mourning

Funny story written by Ulver

Sunday, 29 November 2009

image for Wales in Mourning
Jones the Steam in mourning tonight

Little known English County Wales is in mourning tonight after warbling pre-pubescent songster Lloyd Daniels was unceremoniously booted off tonight's X Factor.

Daniels, 6 months and a barely formed foetus lost out to gurning Essex Love-God Olly Murs, who whipped the crowd into a frenzy with his hip gyrations, cheeky Essex wink and suggestion of a deformed lunchbox.

Jones the Steam, leader of the Welsh Assembly's crack Viet Taff Commando unit had previously called upon his troops to invade Dublin when it looked like Little Lloyd might lose out to the gurning Irish tools Jedward.

We asked Jones if similar retribution mught be meted out against Essex tonight, but he was too traumatised to answer.

Instead Welsh Foreign Secretary Ruth Madoc advised that there were not enough people who actually cared about or recognised Lloyd to bother; she also added that all the Welsh Commandoes were currently still lost on the Dublin ring road after Jones' previous call to arms and therefore they did't have enough resources to mount an attack anyway.

In other news it was really pleasing to watch that smug cow Cheryl Cole have her self-satisfied grin wiped off her mug as her "little man" lost out to Cowell's much-bigger man (allegedly)!

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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