Rep. Debbie Lesko (R-AZ) said that she would rather shoot and kill her five grandchildren than give up her right to keep and bear arms. When her grandkids were reached for comment, the oldest said: “She said what? That bitch! Well, for next Christ…
Scientist from the U.S., Europe, and Oakville, Ontario, Canada have joined forces with their hairdressing counterparts to warn the world at large that the scourge of the 21st century, the dopey-looking, douchie hairstyle known as 'The Man-Bun' is not…
A nan has started preparing for Christmas by putting the sprouts on a low simmer to ensure they are at optimum indistinguishable mushiness on the big day. Veronica Perkins, 67, said, “I spend thirty-seven hours putting little crosses in 22,000 sp…
Huddled up in her freezing cold granny flat, covered in tatty ageing blankets, and wearing woolly slippers, 85-year-old OAP, Betsy Sharples from Smethwick, UK, saw a report about a meeting of the high and mighty in Glasgow hoping to control global wa…
HACKENSACK, New Jersey – (Satire News) – The principal of Mrs. Millard Fillmore Elementary School reported that she had to discipline a second-grader who brought his grandmother to “Show & Tell”. The boy’s teacher, Marlena Figweather, said tha…
BILLINGSGATE POST: Reacting to new claims by conservatives that Obama Care will not work unless grandma volunteers to pull the plug on herself prematurely, Bernie Sanders said that, "although this is true, it's inherently false that the government i...
After 85 years on the planet and sipping diverse teas for most of the time, an 85 year-old Brit pensioner has now found out why her teeth are in the jar and not in her mouth! Scientists have issued a study claiming acidic teas, and other terrible...
Neighbors said it was just a matter of time before Mabel became a victim of a violent attack. Raised in a rural town near Tonsillmania, locking the the doors and windows at night was not a priority. But perhaps it is now. Grandaughter Matt...
OXFORD, OH--Tragically, a student at Miami University, who had already lost three of his grandmothers earlier in the semester, lost his fourth grandmother when his dog, a pit-bull named Gator, ate her the night before his final exam. The dog the...
WATERLOO, Iowa - Law enforcement officers in Waterloo report making one of the most unusual busts in history. Waterloo Police Department spokesperson Sherlock Stallgarden informed the news media that officers searched 78-year-old Olivia Eunice Fan...
GREENSBORO, North Carolina - A 73-year-old Greensboro grandmother identified as Daffodil "Daffy" Fugglefield swears that she had no idea that sexting was against the law. Granny Daffy, as her 19 grandkids call her, told arresting officers that she...
Wilbert Flannery was accused by his family of killing his grandmother so he could inherit her house and money she had hid around the house. After the Williamsburg, Alabama resident was taken in by police, they had to let him go because of lack of...
NEW ORLEANS - The Louisiana Department of Festivities has just announced that a 61-year-old high school geography teacher from Lafayette, Louisiana has just won first place in the 1st Annual Louisiana Twerking Contest. Noranelle Grainquist was the...
SAVANNAH, Georgia - Local police have made what they are calling the biggest marijuana bust in the state's history. Half a dozen officers with the Savannah Police Department raided the home of 91-year-old Agnes Leona Pigeonberry a retired high sch...
A Gateshead grandmother has been given a life ban from her local rugby club, Wearside Werewolves. The 76-year-old prop-forward was shown the red card for going down on her opposing hooker during a tense game against local rivals Toon Tykes. For...
A 79 year old grandmother, known locally as the Cat Lady because of her habit of taking in thousands of homeless cats over the years, has climbed a giant Oak tree in her front yard and has refused to come down. Neighbors say that Mrs. Gloria Fel...
OSHKOSH, Wisconsin - Paul Ryan has just received some devastating political news. It appears that his grandmother Mayshack Ophelia Woodpeckler, 93, has written him a letter telling him that she has decided that she is going to vote for President O...
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