Student Misses Final Exam After His Dog Eats His Grandmother

Funny story written by Matt Birkenhauer

Monday, 19 May 2014

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OXFORD, OH--Tragically, a student at Miami University, who had already lost three of his grandmothers earlier in the semester, lost his fourth grandmother when his dog, a pit-bull named Gator, ate her the night before his final exam.

The dog then had to be rushed to the vet to have his stomach pumped because the grandmother, who was suffering from Hodgkin lymphoma, had just received her radiation treatment and the student feared his dog, if not treated immediately, would begin glowing in the dark and eventually die of leukemia.

Emailed the distraught student to his professor:

Prof. Neudhardt,

I wont be able to make the exam today becuase my dog ate my grandmother, who was recieving radiation treatments and might have irradiated my dog, Gator, who is currently being hospitalized at the vet.

Can I come in on Thursday to take the exam, once my dog is released from the hospital?

Prof. Neudhardt is expected to excuse the student from the exam on Monday, pending proof of the diseased grandmother's condition.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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